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GTFOH Trump Watch: You Better Go Look at That Border Wall While You Can
The wall that no one wanted has become a metaphor for Trump’s time in office: an unfinished, expensive waste of time and energy that will be forgotten as soon as he leaves office. On Tuesday, the president of people who shop at Big Lots will travel to Alamo, Texas, to gaze at his failure one…
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Pay Me What You Owe Me: Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee Reintroduces Reparations Bill
“Is the stimmy a form of reparations?” my 1-year-old daughter asked me the other day. I looked at her puzzled, and then asked where she’d heard such big words. She replied that her daycare is near: I kid. My daughter doesn’t go to daycare with COVID-19 running unchecked in these MAGA streets. I live near…
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Nancy Pelosi Contacts Top General About Keeping ‘Unhinged’ President Away From the Nuclear Codes
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi reached out to a top general to find out about adding extra steps to stop “unhinged” President Trump from using the nuclear codes. According to the New York Post, Pelosi called Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Gen. Mark Milley about the madman in the White House and what he’s capable of…
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GTFOH Trump Watch: Look Straight Into the Camera and Pretend to Love America
After some 60 failed court attempts to overturn the election and a failed coup, the president of people who still believe that the election was rigged has finally acknowledged electoral defeat. It only took two months, Rudy Giuliani’s human dookie face to begin melting, a whole lot of shouting from the Trump brood and an…
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GTFOH Trump Watch: The Boredom of White-on-White Violence
I must say that when I heard that terrorists were coming to town to march for their leader I was excited. Not because I wanted these clowns in the city that raised me, but I thought a front-row seat to some good ol fashioned white-on-white violence would be entertaining. I know. Call me what you…
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5 Black People That Would’ve Been a Better Choice for Attorney General Than Merrick ‘Milquetoast’ Garland
Merrick Garland wasn’t supposed to be eligible to become attorney general because he was supposed to be a Supreme Court Justice. But then Mitch McConnell stepped up and never gave Garland a chance to have a confirmation hearing and thus Trump stacked the court. But that was years ago, back when we could go outside…
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Chuck Schumer to Mitch McConnell: I Thought a Broke Senate Majority Leader Said Something
On Wednesday, when it appeared that Mitch “Turtleneck” McConnell was on the verge of no longer being the Senate majority leader, Chuck Schumer reportedly grabbed the Kentucky senator by his flabby neck skin and told him, “Look at me! I’m the captain now.” Schumer then asked McConnell “Why did the turtle cross the road?” When…
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Here’s Everything You Need to Know About the Electoral College Certification in Congress Today
The first thing to know about Wednesday’s Electoral College certification in Congress is that they do a rack of shit with our votes that I never knew happened because before Trump everyone else accepted defeat. Leave it to a failed real estate tycoon to become America’s first presidential squatter forcing us to learn all this…
