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‘QAnon Shaman’ Lawyer Wants Trump to Pardon His Grass-Fed Client
Now that the lawyer has gotten the “QAnon shaman’s” organic diet taken care of, he’s looking for the president who caused the insurrection on the Capitol last week to pardon his client. In an interview with CNN, Albert Watkins said his client, Jacob Chansley, “felt like he was answering the call of our president” when…
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Kingmaker Stacey Abrams Has Unfinished Business, Will Run for Georgia Governor, Allies Say
We argue about everything at The Root. It’s one of the perks of working here. We engage in intelligent conversation about everything. So shortly after Joe Biden won the presidential election, I asked my colleagues which cabinet position they thought Abrams would be given. I was promptly told to STFU. “Nigga, are you crazy?!” one…
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How Joe Biden’s $2,000 Stimulus Promise Turned Into $1,400 Overnight
Damnit, Joe. Not like this. Joe Biden hasn’t even taken office and he’s already pulling some fuckshit. On Thursday, Biden unveiled his proposal for a relief package that would cost some $1.9 trillion to help the struggling economy during the coronavirus pandemic. But it appears that Biden forgot about the $2,000 he promised Americans and…
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Secret Service Spends $3,000 a Month for Bathroom, Because Jared and Ivanka Won’t Let Them Use Their Toilet
So the Secret Service can take a bullet for Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump but they can’t even use their bathroom. Like during segregation, the Secret Service reportedly spends some $3,000 a month for a toilet close to the Kushner-Trump home because they can’t use one of the 6.5 bathrooms inside the couple’s home. Look…
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‘QAnon Shaman’ Gets Organic Diet in Prison, Because of Course He Would [Updated]
We all know Jake Angeli. He’s the white man who stormed the Capitol dressed as Bullwinkle, wearing a horned helmet and fur. Apparently, he is also a Chad (a male Karen), who survives off an organic diet of white tears, complaining, whining, and privilege. And because there is a separate jailing system for white people,…
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If the Capitol Is Closed to the Public, Why Did Some Republican Congress Members Give Tours the Day Before Insurrection?
It’s been a week since a violent group of terrorists stormed the Capitol looking to overthrow democracy and Democrats have questions, a lot of questions. According to Roll Call, Rep. Mikie Sherrill and 33 other House members want an investigation into tours provided by fellow House lawmakers inside the Capitol on Jan. 5, just one…
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Everything We Know About Biden’s Stimmy Package. Plus, Sen. Cory Booker and Rep. Ayanna Pressley Want to Give Babies Bonds
OK, who are we kidding? We all voted for Joe Biden for three reasons: First, he wasn’t Donald Trump, and I’m thoroughly convinced that if a piece of sock lint had run against the white supremacist in chief, we all would’ve changed our Twitter avis to “Vote Sock Lint 2020!” Secondly, he teamed up with…
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GTFOH Trump Watch: It’s the Remix to Impeachment
After four years of tucking their ovaries away, it looks like some Republicans have finally grown a pair and are actually going to fight back. I know. I know. But you have to admit that the few Republicans that are on board with Trump’s impeachment are looking a little less like wet washcloths. (For my…
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Trump on Mob Violence: Riots Happen Every Day, B
If you were waiting for Trump to take accountability for inciting a mob riot on the Capitol, then you, my friend are a goddamn idiot. Respectfully. On Tuesday, an indignant Trump spoke about the violence at the Capitol and noted that he found it “totally appropriate” while also calling for “no violence” in his first…
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Second Congresswoman Tests Positive for COVID-19 After Capitol Lockdown With Maskholes
Rep. Pramila Jayapal has tested positive for COVID-19, making her the second congresswoman to test positive for the highly contagious virus because they were locked in a room with maskholes who refused to wear a mask even when they were offered one. “Only hours after Trump incited a deadly assault on our Capitol, many Republicans…
