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GTFOH Trump Watch: The Devil Went Down to Georgia
You know who really doesn’t give a shit about who wins this Georgia Senate election runoff? The president of people who believe in the seductive powers of Mountain Dew. This man went all the way down to Georgia on the heels of a leaked call in which the president did his best Michael Corleone impersonation,…
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No One Would Let the Government Shutdown in a Pandemic. Republicans: Hold My Ensure
The government is at the risk of being shut down because, in the eleventh hour, some asshole senator from Fuckstick, Fuckville, has decided that it’s more important to him to screw over President-elect Joe Biden than it is to pass this shitty-ass package into law so that Americans can get some relief. Sen. Patrick J.…
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GTFOH Trump Watch: Why the $2,000 Trump Stimulus Check Is Bullshit
My homeboy Lavelle and I had this thing we did when a kid wanted to fight me and I didn’t want to fight. I would act like I was taking off my shirt and Lavelle knew that was his cue to jump in and act like he was breaking it up. I was rail-thin growing…
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Sen. Angus King: Want to Stop Coronavirus? Make Netflix and Disney Plus Free
Sen. Angus King (I-Maine) has an idea that’s so stupid it actually might be goddamn brilliant! In a letter Monday, King asked executives at Netflix, Amazon Prime, Disney Plus, HBO Max and Hulu to make their streaming services free during the holidays to get people to stay home and therefore curb the spread of the…
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GTFOH Trump Watch: Even Mar-a-Lago Neighbors Don’t Want You
Once the president and his family are dragged from the White House, they’ve got to live somewhere, and considering how bizarre and meth-infused the last four years have been, there is really only one place for the Trump crime family to settle: Florida. Apparently, Melania is going to continue this whole act as if she’s…
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Biden to Nominate Pete Buttigieg as Head of Transportation
In what continues to be some head-scratching shit, President-elect Joe Biden is expected to nominate Pete Buttigieg as transportation secretary, which is the equivalent of being nominated as the secretary of transportation. Safe to say it’s not a glamorous position. Quick, name another Transportation secretary in the history of ever? Exactly. According to Politico, Buttigieg…
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Stunt Queen Alert: Michigan Republican Leaves GOP Over Trump’s Endless Attempts to Overturn Election
Rep. Paul Mitchell, (R-Mich.) has had enough. And by enough, I mean that babies in cages didn’t bother him nor did a wall to separate Mexico from America. Mitchell wasn’t bothered by the president’s unwillingness to show his taxes or his use of public office to bash dissenters. Mitchell was apparently fine with the president’s…
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Trump Tells Allies He Will Run in 2024. Also Notes: You Know I Stay Lying
The president of people hoping to storm the Electoral College, which is right next to Trump University, has been telling allies that he plans to run again in 2024—and then adds that he may back out, but still fuck with me like I’m running because I love attention. According to Politico, the president has been…
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GTFOH Trump Watch: You’ve Stolen an Election Before, So Why Won’t You Do It Now?
Georgia Governor Brian Kemp is a thief. He stole his first name from a famous crooner whose surname is McKnight and his last name from a promiscuous former NBA dunker. He stole his style from Ward Cleaver and his haircut from Colonel Sanders (not the Latinx version. Man, I want so much more for Mario…
