Attorney General William 'Big Fred Flintstone' Barr to Release Redacted Mueller Report Within a Week

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Attorney General William “Big Fred Flintstone” Barr sat in the lukewarm seat on Tuesday and told lawmakers that he will be releasing a redacted AF version of special counsel Robert Mueller’s mixtape, “Why couldn’t I just say whether or not the president obstructed justice?” within a week.


Big Fred of the the Mighty Mighty Flintstones also said a whole lotta other shit that basically amounted to “I’m not going to talk about the report until it’s released” and “I said what I said!”

But Barr did note that there while be redactions and color-coded sections and footnotes and all kinds of other confusing bits so that the public will have quite the time trying to determine whether or not the president of the United States and his administration worked with Russia to steal the 2016 election.

“The process is going along very well,” Barr said during testimony before a House Appropriations subcommittee on the Justice Department’s fiscal 2020 budget request, The Hill reports. “My original timetable of being able to release this by mid-April stands.”

“Within a week, I will be in a position to release the report to the public and then I will engage with the chairman of the Judiciary Committees,” Barr told Rep. José Serrano (D-N.Y.).

Barr said the redactions will conceal grand jury information from the public, including “classified national security details that could reveal sources and methods, details that could compromise ongoing investigations and information that could impact the privacy and reputation interests of ‘peripheral third parties.’”

Restricted information would be color coded to match four categories of reasoning and “provide explanatory notes for the basis for each redaction,” such as a person being part of an ongoing criminal prosecution, The Hill notes.


Big Fred said he’s working with Mueller’s team to make the appropriate redactions, and don’t be surprised if pages of this shit are blacked out. I was iffy before but it appears that Big Fred’s allegiance is solely in the Trump camp, as he refused to answer some of the committee’s most basic questions, including whether or not Trump’s claims of total exoneration were accurate.

While House Democrats have pushed for the full release of Mueller’s findings without redactions, Big Fred has essentially said, “Nah, son,” but he did claim that he would release as much as the law would allow. Oh, and he added that while Mueller’s report didn’t give any indication or guidelines as to what a public release should look like, Barr is reportedly working at his own “discretion.”


“I do think it’s important that the public have an opportunity to review the results of the special counsel’s work,” Barr said, The Hill reports.

He wouldn’t commit to releasing the full report to Congress either, noting that he was going to release the redacted version and if Congress felt like they needed more information then he’d be willing to work with them.


Barr was supposed to be in front of the committee to talk about the 2020 budget request for his department, but this was the first time Congress had the attorney general in its midst, so he expected questions about the special counsel investigation.

My issue with the entire statement is during the hearing, no one asked to see the bottoms of Barr’s feet, considering he drives a goddamn car using only foot power and no shoes!



He’s more like Horton, not Fred Flintstone.

Attorney General William: I said what I said, I meant what I meant, a Barr is Faithful (to Cheeto), 100%.


This,” cried the Barr, “is your party’s darkest hour!
The time for all republicans who have blood that is red
To come to the aid of their country!” he said.
“The GOP to make noises in greater amounts!
So, open your mouth, lad! For every lies counts!