Andrew Cuomo Vows Not to Leave Office Because He’s a Toxic Man

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When you are a man and you’ve fucked up, the manly thing to do is own up to it, apologize, and if the situation requires it, you step down.

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Not New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo, who said Wednesday that he plans to remain in office despite three women–yes, three; two short of five and two more than one–claiming that the less talented half of the Cuomo brothers sexually harassed them. One of the women even has photos from the incident when the alleged assault occurred.

In his first public appearance since three–yes, the same number of Super Bowl championships as the Washington Football Team–women accused him of being mad old and creepy AF, including inappropriate touching and making offensive remarks, the embattled ass-clown apologized and claimed that he’s “learned an important lesson” about his behavior around women.

“I now understand that I acted in a way that made people feel uncomfortable,” Cuomo said, the Associated Press reports. “It was unintentional and I truly and deeply apologize for it.”

Cuomo added that he would “fully cooperate” with an investigation, which will be overseen by the state’s Attorney General Letitia James, also known as “Tish” which is short for, “Tish don’t play that tish,” who CNN reports is in the process of selecting an outside law firm to conduct the probe.

Asked about stepping down, Cuomo said, “I’m an asshole and as such I’m going to calls for me to step down and force myself on the public because they voted for me and can’t unvote me out of office.

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“I wasn’t elected by politicians, I was elected by the people of the state of New York. I’m not going to resign.”

What an asshole.

This is the first time that Cuomo has addressed reporters since the allegations broke. Remember when he and his chin divot were fixtures on TV during the coronavirus pandemic? Remember when he and his brother Chris, a host on CNN, had a running buddy comedy thing in which Gov. Cuomo would come on and they would take good-natured shots at each other about which one their mother loves most?

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Well CNN, who shouldn’t have allowed it to happen in the first place, put an end to that shit last month when the elder Cuomo faced a federal investigation for the nursing home fiasco, and on Monday, Chris explained to his viewers why he hasn’t been covering his brother, Business Insider reports.

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CNN notes that his last on-camera briefing was Feb 19.

From CNN:

Two of the women accusing Cuomo worked in his administration. The other was a guest at a wedding that he officiated.

Former aide Charlotte Bennett, 25, said Cuomo quizzed her about her sex life and asked whether she would be open to a relationship with an older man. Bennett rejected Cuomo’s attempted apology, in which he said he’d been trying to be “playful” and that his jokes had been misinterpreted as flirting.

Another former aide, Lindsey Boylan, said Cuomo commented on her appearance inappropriately, kissed her without her consent at the end of a meeting, and once suggested they play strip poker while aboard his state-owned jet. Cuomo has denied Boylan’s allegations.

Anna Ruch, told The New York Times that Cuomo put his hands on her face and asked if he could kiss her just moments after they met at a September 2019 wedding in Manhattan.

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Somehow, and I don’t know how, Cuomo thought it made sense to invoke his late father’s name, former Gov. Mario Cuomo, into his explanation on how he greets women, claiming that he learned his gregarious ways from his old man. Which, if true, just means that his father passed down some toxic male bullshit that is handsy and way too familiar for formal settings. What my church pastor called an “unclean greeting” because yes, my church pastor had to teach men of the church how to hug women properly.

Cuomo noted that he now realizes, “it doesn’t matter my intent, what it matters is if anybody was offended by it,” CNN notes.

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He then offered another non-apology, noting that he’s apologizing to people whom he made uncomfortable, but he didn’t even note who he was talking about.

Asked what he’d say to New Yorkers, Cuomo said: “I’m embarrassed by what happened...I’m embarrassed that someone felt that way in my administration. I’m embarrassed and hurt and I apologize that somebody who interacted with me felt that way.”

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He added: “I didn’t know at the time I was making her feel uncomfortable. I never meant to, but that doesn’t matter,” Cuomo said, CNN reports. “If a person feels uncomfortable, if a person feels pain, if a person is offended, I feel very badly about that and I apologize for it. There’s no but — it’s, I’m sorry.”

If Cuomo really feels bad, he’d quit. But I guess he doesn’t feel that bad now does he?

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“I wasn’t elected by politicians, I was elected by the people of the state of New York. I’m not going to resign.”

Well the people are calling for you to resign too. Your move, Andy.

Cuomo noted that he now realizes, “it doesn’t matter my intent, what it matters is if anybody was offended by it,” CNN notes.

Good that he figured that one out before someone intended to say hello to his face with their fist.