Illustration for article titled A Condom With a Hole In it, and 9 Other Things I Trust More Than Trump
Photo: Chip Somodevilla (Getty Images)

At the White House press briefing on Wednesday, Sarah Huckabee Sanders was discussing the departure of top Trump economic adviser Gary Cohn. He is just the latest member of Donald Trump’s administration to say, “You know what? I’m out of here” and quit his job.


A member of the press asked Sanders about the high rate of turnover among White House employees.

It was a logical question because, honestly, Suckabee, how come no one wants to work for your boss?


You know Suckabee has to be the spin doctor for the idiot in chief, so she said, “I think the confidence should be in the president, and the policies that he’s outlined ... that’s what the American people voted for.”

Girl, what?

I think the entire point is that none of us have confidence in this president, and we are worried about the current state and the future direction of our country under his leadership.


I was talking to The Root’s Senior Editor Stephen A. Crockett Jr. about this in Slack, and I said, “I can think of a list of at least 10 risky things I would put my trust in before I would put it in Donald Trump.”

Crockett was like, “Write that ish up, cuz!”

So now we are here—a list of 10 questionable and/or risky things that I would be willing to put my trust in before I would put it in Donald Trump:

  1. A condom with a hole in it.
  2. The state of Florida.
  3. A Florida man.
  4. Iyanla Vanzant (no, seriously; has she ever fixed anyone’s life?).
  5. Letting Stevie Wonder drive me around for a day.
  6. A hang gliding lesson over a live volcano.
  7. Bitcoin (I still don’t completely understand what this is or how it works).
  8. A bra purchased at Walmart (you’ve seen these boobs; there’s just no way).
  9. A panty liner on my heaviest-flow day.
  10. The people in the grays.

In other words, nah, b. We don’t have confidence in this president, and we never will.

News Editor for The Root. I said what I said. Period.

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