The trailer for the new Candyman movie—produced and written by Jordan Peele, directed by Nia DaCosta—hit the interwebs on February 27 and, well, I cannot wait until it is released on June 12. Don’t get it twisted, the first movie scared the everloving shit out of me and I’m not a horror movie person, but I look forward to seeing this new take all the same. And since the trailer dropped, I’ve had lots of thoughts about the trailer, the original movie and the idea of Candyman. Wrote a song about it...like to hear it? Here it go.
1. When the original Candyman was released in October 1992, I was a whole 13 years old. I saw it when it came out and I haven’t been right since. True story, I don’t think I’ve ever said Candyman three times, much less five. It just ain’t worth it, ya know? Like, if he ain’t real, that’s cool and all. But what if he’s real and I’m the idiot who finds out the hard way. And word to Big Bird, this nigga Tony Todd is OUT in my book. He will always be Candyman. I don’t care if that white woman became Candyman. If I see him on the streets NOW, I’m crossing the street. He might as well be Suge Knight. Also, when I see bees, I think of Candyman. My kids think I have problems. Be that as it may, don’t you bring your Candyman Challenge ass around me trying to be funny. If you get to four in my presence you pretty much have to leave my house.
2. I’ve been to Chicago plenty of times. I have on Jordans right now. Concord breds, if you must know. Candyman almost ruined the whole city of Chicago for me at 13. I just need you all to know how scared I was. For context, Stephen King’s It ruined clowns for me, too.
3. Jordan Peele is pretty much printing his own money now. Who knew that the way to make black movies into crossover successes was to keep making horror films? And shouts out to Nia DaCosta in the director’s chair; she will probably not get enough notice because Peele’s name is attached to this project. I notice you, Nia. And I hope that you notice me noticing you.
4. With that said, Jordan Peele is gon’ get enough of turning our Blacktional Anthems into horror jams. First he took The Luniz’ “I Got 5 On It” and turned it into a horror jam, and now we doing this to a Destiny’s Child song????? Also, is there a more perfect song to fit this joint than “Say My Name”? I think not. Similarly, if Candyman ain’t the REASON to say, “keep my name out your mouth.”
5. There’s something sadistically familiar about the trailer showing five young, non-black kids saying TONY TODD’S name over and over in a mirror, ending up dead and a black girl who’s just trying to use the bathroom presumably left to take the fall for their murder. I don’t know that she’s going to jail—I haven’t seen the movie—but I mean, come on. Somebody is going to jail.
6. Yahya-Abdul Mateen II playing Anthony McCoy, the baby who was kidnapped from the the apartment in the 1992 version and his mother, played by Vanessa Williams, who was in the original, being like, “DON’T SAY THAT SHIT MY G, STOP IT WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?” (I’m paraphrasing) was some real real shit. That was some solid black mothering with the two claps and the silencer finger over the mouth—“We don’t do that” is what her eyes said.
7. There was a lot of blood in that trailer.
8. It’s been a long time since I watched the original. So much so that I cannot remember the last time I saw it, but amazingly, that movie affected me so much that I have vivid recollections of scenes and the number of call-backs to the original seems to be plentiful.
9. I know Tony Todd is going to be in this movie. I WILL COVER MY EYES.