Simply put, Los Angeles Lakers superstar Anthony Davis has been playing like a boiling cauldron of hot ass this year.
And before you call me a Laker haterβwhich I completely own and take tremendous pride in, thank you very muchβallow me to present the eight-time All-Starβs shooting percentages this season to the jury:
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Is that not a boiling cauldron of hot ass?
Sure, the former New Orleans Pelican is still somehow putting up averages of 24.1 points and 10.3 boards a game this season, but when your jumper is broke enough to rack up overdraft fees every game, your team has a -4.3 net rating when youβre on the court, and the Lakers are mired in a 13-12 malaise, people start pointing fingers. And considering LeBron James is staring his 37th rotation around the sun in the face and is finally looking like he can no longer leap tall buildings in a single bound, somebody deserves the blame.
Enter Inside The NBAβs Charles Barkley, who has an idea or seven on who that person should beβand it ainβt Lakerβs coach Frank Vogel. After clowning Los Angeles for fielding a team full of βold-ass geezers,β the Hall of Famer emptied the clip Tuesday night and dug into Davisβ ass.
βListen, Anthony Davis, youβve got to play better,β Barkley said. βI said it on this first night. If the Lakers were gonna be any good, it was all gonna be on you. It has nothing to do with Russell [Westbrook]. It has nothing to do with LeBron, and the rest of them old-ass geezers they put together out there. But now yβall have crossed the line, because I really like Frank Vogel. It ainβt his fault.β
He continued, βIn my opinion, I blame Anthony Davis. Anthony Davis, you know I like you as a person, but you ainβt doing what youβre supposed to do. Youβre 27 years old. Youβre supposed to be in your prime. Youβre supposed to be one of the five best players in the world, up there with Giannis, Kevin Durant, and those guys. And you ainβt holding up your end of the bargain. So now I hear yβall are going to fire the head coach. Thatβs total B.S., man. Now I feel better.β
Well, damn.
Apparently, Davis and his background singers, The Old-Ass Geezers, mustβve caught wind of Barkleyβs comments. Because hours afterward, they responded with a dominant 117-102 victory over the Boston Celtics that included a combined 71 points from the holy trinity of Davis, James, and Westbrook.
βI just like the way we competed tonight on both sides of the floor,β King James said of the teamβs fourth win in its last six games. βWe had a lot of intensity, a lot of ball movement. Guys were attacking the rim. I think defensively, besides the first 14-point avalanche on [Celtics star Jayson] Tatumβs part, we locked in from that point forward.β
And for those wondering how The Unibrow responded to Barkleyβs slanderous rant, he shot 7-of-13 from the floor and chipped in 17 points, 16 boards, and a pair of blocks.
Are the Lakers back on track? Are they ready to compete for a championship? I sure as hell hope not. And if Barkley calling out Anthony Davis is the key to unleashing the 10-year veteranβs dominant play, Iβm gonna need Charles to shut that shit all the way up, post-haste.
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