Photo: Chip Somodevilla (Getty Images)

First lady Melania Trump is doing it again. You know, that thing where she paints herself as a victim and then acts as if she’s rising above her life inside her gilded cage.

Yes, Melania of House Trump; Queen of Mar-a-Lago, Wearer of a Pith Hat; Mother of Mullets, Keeper of Secrets, the Unshitholed, Princess of Pussy-Grabbing, First of Her Shame, Khaleesi of the Great Orange Dumpster Fire.

The mail order bride first lady who created the grammatically incorrect “Be Best” anti-bullying campaign (a total rip-off of the best first lady to ever first lady, Michelle Obama) would, in typical Trump fashion paint herself as the most bullied person in the world.

“I could say I’m the most bullied person on the world,” Trump told ABC News in an interview. Melania had just taken her first solo trip to Africa (where she selflessly promoted making solo trips to Africa), and was dragged mercilessly for dressing like a goddamn 1980s Banana Republic ad. She even wore a fucking pith hat!

Advertisement

“You’re really the most bullied person in the world?” ABC News’ Tom Llamas asked during the exchange.

“One of them, if you really see what people saying about me,” Trump said.

Clearly, this is where her husband’s behavior has rubbed off on her. Since taking office, one of the best traits of Trump’s presidency has been weaponizing victimhood. To date, Trump has painted Republicans as victims of the evil Democrats; he’s painted Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh as the victim of a Democratic scheme to keep his nominees off the highest court in the land. He’s chided sexual assault survivors as unreliable narrators at best and evil-doers at worst and the subtext of it all is that the white man is really the most victimized man in this country. To hear the Trumps tell it, they are under attack!

Advertisement

Because the claim was too ridiculous to even remotely take seriously, the interview switched the topic back to children, a subject that Melania knows well considering she’s raising two toddlers—Barron and Donald Trump—under tremendous scrutiny.

“We need to educate the children of social-emotional behavior, so when they grow up, they know how to deal with those issues,” Trump said. “That’s very important.”

Melania might want to start at home considering her oldest infant Donald uses every platform available to him to mock, chastise, and bully any figure that doesn’t agree with him. Recently during a rally (because, yes this bitch is still rallying,) Trump mocked sexual assault survivor Dr. Christine Blasey Ford over her testimony against Brett Kavanaugh, who she claims sexually assaulted her when they were both teens.

Advertisement

In her testimony, Ford noted that she would never forget the “uproarious laughter” during her assault and the president of the United States mocked her to his minions inducing what can only be described as “uproarious laughter.”

So miss us with this bullshit about being the most bullied person in the world when you don’t even have to sleep next to the sack of afterbirth you married. Melania calling herself the “most bullied person in the world” is like a member of the Ku Klux Klan complaining about how much they have to spend on Clorox.

Melania can wear all the pith hats and all the “Smooth Criminal” outfits she wants because, “I really don’t care, do you?”