It might interest you to know that Shapiro claims he never had sex until he was married at 28 years old.


Due to his lack of experience with black people, cats or self-lubricating sexual organs, I’m sure Ben had to go on Urban Dictionary to find out what the lyrics meant:


Also, I love the fact that Shapiro’s wife was like:

“Nah, baby, there’s no such thing as a wet-ass pussy. As a doctor, let me assure you that it’s supposed to be dry like that, baby. Yep, every time. It’s a medical fact. Don’t worry sweetie, you’re not doing anything wrong.”

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Screenshot: Twitter

Poor Ben Shapiro.

Not only has he been cursed with a “weak-ass pullout game” and a lifetime of dehydrated vajayjays, but he will never enjoy the awesome pleasure of frolicking with a freshly showered kitten. (That’s what the song is about, dummy.)


I bet he sees those sheathens mocking him with their satanic jiggling badonkadonks every time he closes his eyes. It’s un-American, really.

Everyone knows this is what’s ruining the country. Not income inequality, the unjust criminal justice system, education disparities or police shooting Black people in the face. If this great empire falls, it will be brought to its knees by orgasms and the belief in the conspiracy theory about the existence of the mythical “clitoris.” (I put it in quotation marks because Ben Shapiro’s wife told him there’s no such thing.)


Ben Shapiro hates Black women.

To be fair, if we truly loved Black women, we would aspire to have sex the way God intended. Apparently, Shapiro believes we should only have sex like Thomas Jefferson and the other Founding Fathers did.


Oh wait, they raped their Black women.

I’m sure Ben Shapiro has that song on his playlist.