Although the National Football League claims to have 32 franchises—all those logos, mascots and jerseys really mean nothing. When it comes down to it, there are only two NFL teams:
- The Dallas Cowboys
- Everybody else
Fans may purchase New York Giants season tickets and wear Miami Dolphins jerseys, but loathing the Dallas Cowboys is the NFL’s most unifying sentiment, and hating the Dallas Cowboys is America’s pastime. While the Los Angeles Lakers, the New York Yankees and the Kardashian Industrial Complex may come close, the Dallas Cowboys are far and away sports’ most disliked team.
Over the last 20 years, Dem Boys have a record of 174 wins, 182 losses, and haven’t appeared in a Super Bowl in more than a quarter of a century. Yet the team boasts the league’s biggest fan base and consistently garners football’s highest television ratings. Jerry Jones is widely considered the league’s most inept general manager but he owns two of the desired properties in all of professional athletics. His Cowboys is the most valuable franchise in American sports, but he also owns football’s second-most valuable team—people who hate the Cowboys. Jones turned a $150 million investment into $5.7 billion by tapping into one undeniable truth:
No bond is stronger than people who hate the same thing.
Although the Republican Party platform claims to hold a number of positions, all those political issues, policy statements and party goals mean nothing. When it comes down to it, the Grand Old Party only stands for one thing:
Oh, there are certainly Republican politicians who claim to adhere to conservative principles and fiscal responsibility. Some wax poetic about their love for America, the troops, Christian values and hard work. But now that those vacuous, bald-faced lies have been exposed as nothing more than what political pundit Mary Jane Blige termed as “hateration and holleration in the dancery,” the GOP has disintegrated into a single-issue party.
Like dem franchise boyz from Dallas, the value of GOP’s team has nothing to do with how well they play the sport of American politics. Although they have a loyal following, instead of trying to actually be good at passing (bills), running (the country) and tackling (issues), they have pivoted toward a platform of being against things. To be fair, they are still pretty good at blocking (progress).
For decades, the GOP claimed fiscal conservatism as a core principle. But when they gained control of Congress and the presidency, they ran up deficits that made their Democratic counterparts look like stingy uncles. While pretending to be socially conservative evangelicals, they elected pussy-grabbing, lying, cheating, cocaine-slinging, coke-snorting candidates like Ronald Reagan, George W. Bush and Donald Trump.
They love the troops, except the ones who read Critical Race Theory, get captured or are just “a bunch of pussies.” They stand for freedom of speech, except when it involves Black NFL players, Black history, Black women, Black Lives Matter protests or Black...well, anything. They believe in law and order, democracy and the Constitution until they feel like overthrowing the federal government, throwing out an election and suppressing voters. Small government conservatives want the government out of their lives. But they are keenly interested in women’s vaginas, local school boards and where trans people choose to urinate.
But the GOP actually stands for something. The Republican Party is unmatched when it comes to conjuring up ways to protect whiteness. It’s not that they are pro-white as much as they are against anything that may result in freedom or equality for everyone else. It would take too much time and bandwidth to dissect every issue that the GOP opposes, but I can list a few specific issues.
Immigration reform, reparations, voting rights, affirmative action school equality, teaching history, removing Confederate statues, college admissions, health equity, criminal justice reform, police accountability, Black Lives Matter, civil rights legislation, relief for Black farmers, COVID vaccine distribution, social programs, Muslims on airplanes, Black people in voting booths, investigating far-right extremism, bail reform, ending the war on drugs, equity in financial institutions, college debt, judicial reform, white women calling the police...
In fact, here’s an easier exercise. Aside from Trump’s First Step Act that was created by progressives organizations, name one issue supported by the Republican Party that is also supported by the majority of Black people.
Don’t worry, I’ll wait.
In the 2020 election, 55 percent of white voters voted for Donald Trump. According to Pew’s verified voter survey, the GOP didn’t come close to winning a majority in any other racial or ethnic demographic. Yet, the space occupied by the Republican Party is still the most valuable commodity in American politics.
White people generally support expanding healthcare, regulating guns, police reform, the right to choose, fair elections and taxing corporations. But the white people’s party doesn’t have to actually enact a political or economic agenda. Their stance on social issues means nothing. They have even convinced their base that the actual number of votes don’t matter. The GOP has seized upon one incontrovertible truth: White people aren’t cheering for white people...
They’re just rooting against everybody else.