White Man Ignores Pesky Police Sirens to Get to Work on Time, Catches a Felony Instead of a Bullet

Illustration for article titled White Man Ignores Pesky Police Sirens to Get to Work on Time, Catches a Felony Instead of a Bullet
Screenshot: WTHR

A white man in Columbus, Ind., was arrested after honking his horn at police—claiming the cops were slowing down his commute to work—then refused to pull over when they tried to stop him.


According to WAVE, 28-year-old Jacob Waltermire pulled up behind a police car Friday morning and “started flailing his arms and honking his horn.” When the cops pulled over to see what his deal was, he took off past them, presumably looking something like this:

Gif: Hanna-Barbera

Not to be out-whited, the police pulled a classic out of their playbook and attempted to stop Waltermire for a broken brake light. (Which begs the question: Exactly how slow were the cops going that he flew past them and wasn’t clocked for a speeding ticket?) Waltermire drove for more than a mile before he finally stopped, then got out of his car and walked toward the police, and, it shouldn’t surprise you to know, survived.

The irate speedster explained to the police that he was only doing it because there was a claymated dancing bunny on the run from—ah, sorry, wrong ridiculous police story. According to police reports, Waltermire just said they were taking their sweet time on the road and holding him up from his job as a delivery driver. He was arrested and charged with resisting law enforcement with a vehicle. I imagine a whole felony would make it a little harder to keep a job than getting to work late, but what do I know?

Columbus local paper the Republic has since reported that Waltermire wishes to apologize to the officers; it seems it hadn’t even crossed his mind that he might be doing something wrong. Maybe the sirens made him feel like he had a personal parade for his commute.

Imagine seeing the police as a mild inconvenience to be aggressively swept aside instead of a potential threat to your life! Fascinating. No word on whether Martha down the way got her takeout delivered on time.

Natalie Degraffinried is a senior editor for Kotaku.



This story, this dude and that photo all seem like they’re from 1979.