The Golden State Warriors are fucked.
Wait, that was rude of me.
Let me congratulate
Drake the Toronto Raptors for their very first, hard-fought NBA Championship in the history of their franchise.
I’ll keep it classy and pretend your fans didn’t cheer when Kevin Durant tore his Achilles during Game 5.
But no, really. The Golden State Warriors are fucked.
If there are levels to being fucked—from impregnating your side chick to losing two future Hall of Fame talents to season-ending injuries mere days apart—the Warriors know exactly where they fall.
On Monday, after missing over a month of the NBA Playoffs with a debilitating calf strain, Kevin Durant made what was supposed to be a heroic, Willis Reed-esque return to propel the Warriors to victory.
Instead, we got this:
KD suffered what was later revealed to be an Achilles rupture—also known as the worst possible injury in professional basketball. Also known as the one injury that only one player in the history of the league has ever fully come back from.
And as if that wasn’t bad enough, on Thursday night during a must-win Game 6, this happened:
Do you see those white ladies in this clip? I am those white ladies. Those white ladies are me.
Klay Thompson, half of the Splash Brothers and one of the greatest shooters in the history of the league, suffered a torn ACL. Also known as arguably the second worst injury in professional basketball. Also known as a severe injury that history says Klay may or may not fully come back from.
But outside of the obvious, here’s why the Warriors are fucked: Not only will both of these guys quite possibly miss the entire upcoming 2019-20 NBA season—KD is confirmed and Dallas Mavericks center Kristaps Porzingis missed the entire 2018-19 campaign with an ACL tear—but both KD and Klay are unrestricted free agents this summer. Which means that if Boston Celtics star Kyrie Irving has his way, this might be the last time either of these guys ever suits up in a Warriors jersey.
So do you let them go and rebuild your dynasty from scratch through crappy draft picks and trades since the Warriors will have zero cap space? Or do you re-sign them both for an insane amount of money, essentially forfeit next season and pray to the basketball Gods that a 31-year-old Klay and 32-year-old KD will resemble some semblance of themselves two years from now? Especially with other teams reportedly still more than willing to poach each of these guys despite the severity of their injuries?
All I know is with the death of a dynasty at stake, that’s a decision I’m glad I don’t have to make.
And it’s exactly why the Golden State Warriors are fucked.