Wednesday's Headlines

Reuters: Taliban Spokesmen Say the Darnedest Things!

WFAA: Police Misconduct Is for Quitters: Officer in Moats Incident Resigns

ABC: Rio Plans to Wall in Slums, US: "Just Call it a 'Housing Project' and You're Set"

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USAT: Calipari: ' I Do Not Walk On Water', Leaving Feat to Obama, Jesus

The Job: Conservation Can Be Deadly!

J&J: Jack and Jill Went Down a Hill to Reform the Rockefeller Drug Laws

TH: The Nation's Problem Is Immorality. Hm. Thanks for clearing that up.

CNN: Clever Office Pranks (to Take Your Mind Off the Fact Your Job Makes You Sad)

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FOX: US, Russian Will Reduce Number of Nukes (Not the Ones Being Kept Secret of Course)

BBC: Not Even Nice Rich People Pay Taxes: Another Nominee Has Tax Troubles

AJE: Regional Bloc Suspends Madagascar, Says Saturday Morning Detention 'Not Doing the Trick'

ABC: Black Folks Still Can't Get Cabs?! Obama Needs to Get on His J-O!

AP: Pardon Sought for 1st Black Heavyweight Champ; Buzz Wonders "Why the Mass Assuaging of Guilt?"

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BBC: Without Conficker Worm to Worry About, Everything Right in the World. Everything.

ESPN: Cleveland LeBrons Evade Pistons for 13th Straight Win

RS: Weezy Abandons Rap, Mos Def Anticipates Company in "We Shouldn't Have Done That" Crew

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BET: Andre 3000 Tossed in the Clink; Says it Smells Like 'Boo-Booooo'

THR: Wanda Sykes Gets Show, Might Not Join David Alan and DL in Breadline

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