(Voting for this round will continue over the weekend, ending on Sunday at midnight. The Championship Round will take place Monday - just like March Madness. We're going to ask Future to recreate a ratchet version of "One Shining Moment." No we're not.)
As we near the finale of our sacred tournament to determine the #BlackestName in America, I'm reminded of one of my favorite moments in Blackness, The ATL Voice cover after the epic 1-inch snowstorm hit ATL earlier this year, and their most epic misuse of the rules of the English language:
This entire tournament is the embodiment of "What happen? Why It Happen? Can it happen Again?"
What this tournament brings to the community is proof that if you aspire towards greatness, then you've already won the battle. #blackexcellence isn't just an ideal, it's a goal - an achievable one. But mostly, what this tournament drives home is that above all else:
Which brings us to the ultimate in shenanigans. The competition has been fierce. It's been brutal. Lives have changed; some people have managed to ascent to the highest heights of transcendent Blackness…the rest of these motherfuckers just need Jesus for creating juniors who must now carry around the names of fuckery past.
So without further ado, we present to you THE FINAL FOUR in our #BlackestName tournament!
What a bam-bam.
Game 1: The Athlete versus The Rapper
- D'Brickashaw Ferguson (65%, 328 Votes)
- Nayvadius Cash (35%, 180 Votes)
Future's name is so jacked up I've misspelled it nearly every time I've typed it out. I actually changed his name. I'm going to say God did that on purpose. No other explanation makes sense here. D'Brickashaw, an early fan favorite has done what we thought…and he's one step away from glory. But I'm not sure that even he can stop the locomotive of a dude named Naydavius.
My prediction here: Future is going to edge out Brick. But I ain't one to gossip so you ain't heard that from me.
Game 2: The Black People You Know vs The Black People White People Know
- Va'Shaundya Karlette Nelson (Shaunie O'Neal) (70%, 357 Votes)
- Quvenzhané Wallis (30%, 151 Votes)
Shaunie came. Shaunie saw. Shaunie conquered. From ratchet television, to divorce court concerts. She is a true scion in the cause of #blackexcellence. Lil QuVay (as I like to call her) had to take out some tough comp (Dwyane Wade, Solange, Condoleezza Rice, and Shaquille) but she's still here. WE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!!! She's the real MVP.
My prediction here: I see Shaunie taking her talents to the championship round. Lil QuVay gave it all she had, but I just don't see it. The apostrophe just does something for me here.
Panama's Championship Round Prediction: Nayvadius Cash vs Va'Shaundya Karlette Nelson.
And can we please have a small chronic break for the fact that Damon and I managed to seed this well enough to get 3 of our #1s to the Final Four?
Vote well. Vote epic. Vote for #blackexcellence.