Tucker Carlson Says QAnon-ified Capitol Rioters Aren't Terrorists, They're 'Gentle People Waving American Flags'

Illustration for article titled Tucker Carlson Says QAnon-ified Capitol Rioters Aren't Terrorists, They're 'Gentle People Waving American Flags'
Photo: Chip Somodevilla (Getty Images)

The above photo is a live shot of Fox News host Tucker Carlson taking a dump. No, seriously, because that’s exactly what’s going on whenever he opens up the septic tank that is his mouth about literally anything.

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Tucker Carlson is modern white supremacy in a nutcase...I mean, nutshell.

Modern white supremacy does everything but drop the n-word with the hard R. It doesn’t even bother cloaking its weaponization of racial stereotypes or its acceptance of racial double standards as a cornerstone of traditional America. In fact, it pretends that race has nothing to do with the conversation at all because it knows its audience won’t be able to decipher dog whistling because, well, they’re the fucking dogs.

So, of course Carlson took his shitty ass on his shitty show on Fox shitty News and engaged in a pitiful attempt to soft-sell QAnon supporters like the mob of gullible Gestapo rejects who stormed the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6, as “gentle people waving American flags.”

“Do you ever notice how all the scary internet conspiracy theorists–the radical QAnon people–when you actually see them on camera or in jail cells, as a lot of them now are, are maybe kind of confused with the wrong ideas, but they’re all kind of gentle people now waving American flags?” Carlson asked like he doesn’t regularly characterize Black Lives Matter protesters as Negr0-Nazi warlords whether they’ve taken part in violence or not. “They like this country.”

As The Guardian pointed out, this wouldn’t be the first time Carlson attempted to white-o-morph the Capitol riot into a G-rated Disney + movie about a community of MAGAts who learned a valuable lesson on peace and tranquility after losing their temper for a little bit. Of course, Carlon’s caping for white terrorists usually comes with a side of the dog whistle shade I mentioned earlier.

From The Guardian:

Carlson spoke a day after the US Capitol was closed, as law enforcement agencies warned of a threat from rightwing groups around the QAnon theory that Trump would return to power on 4 March. He did not. No attack materialised.

Carlson mocked reactions by Democrats and media coverage of the closure, adding familiar racially loaded provocation.

“By the time night fell and the city remained quiet,” he said, “except, of course, in the poor neighbourhoods where people are still shooting one another in ever-growing numbers and no one is noticing, MSNBC had decided that, in fact, they had saved the day.”

Carlson also said QAnon followers were “not torching Wendy’s. They’re not looting retail stores. They’re not shooting cops. No, that’s not them, it’s the other people doing that.”

Last summer, protests against police brutality and institutional racism sometimes produced civil unrest. A Wendy’s fast food restaurant burned in Atlanta; looting occurred in some cities. Police officers have been shot and sometimes killed amid tension and protest over police killings mostly of African American men.

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I’m going to assume I don’t need to explain who Carlson was talking about when he mentioned “poor neighborhoods” just before he went on to pretend cops didn’t get attacked during Jan. 6's World War Wypipo riot and that one didn’t die as a result.

So basically, Carlson has gone from insinuating that QAnon doesn’t exist because he couldn’t find its website, to pretending its supporters are a bunch of cute, cuddly Carebears who were merely “confused” by the very right-wing propaganda he’s spent his entire career on Fox Snooze promoting.

Zack Linly is a poet, performer, freelance writer, blogger and grown man lover of cartoons

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raineyb1013
Raineyb1013, Misfit Black Girl Island Denizen

Translation:

The Capitol rioters aren’t terrorists; they’re white.