A good troll has to work hard to sell it or else it doesn’t work. And Trump has been trolling for years. In fact, he’s been trolling since Obama was in office, but I’ve mentioned this to several friends at different times: I don’t really know where Trump stands on any issue because he’s, well, a troll.
The main purpose of all trolls is to stir up shit while attempting to garner clicks and popularity. Never forget that Trumpkashi 45 is a failed businessman who used to call gossip magazines posing as his own publicist to spread lies about his exploits with women and made-up business dealings. He’s the original Tekashi 6ix9ine. Basically the president of the people who buy walking shoes from Costco is a thirsty bitch hungry for news.
So when White House aides reportedly reached out to South Dakota’s Gov. Kristi Noem last year about the process for adding presidents to Mount Rushmore, the person who answered the phone reportedly said, “Bitch, are you buggin’ or are you high?”
According to the New York Times, the president of people who still order from catalogs was as serious as a positive drug test when he told Noem that it was his “dream” to have his Cheetos-dusted face on Mount Rushmore, the sculpture that features the 60-foot-tall faces of Presidents George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt.
According to a 2018 interview with Noem, the two struck up a conversation about the sculpture in the Oval Office during their first meeting, where she initially thought he was joking. “I started laughing,” she said. “He wasn’t laughing, so he was totally serious.”
“He said, ‘Kristi, come on over here. Shake my hand, and so I shook his hand, and I said, ‘Mr. President, you should come to South Dakota sometime. We have Mount Rushmore.’ And he goes, ‘Do you know it’s my dream to have my face on Mount Rushmore?’”
Noem responded, “Bitch, we all have dreams.”
CNN notes that Trump kicked the idea of having his face aka Vladimir’s Putin’s comfiest seat cushion added to the famous rock of historic white men. Trump also toyed with the idea of adding himself to Mount Rushmore in 2017 at a campaign rally in Youngstown, Ohio.
He even tweeted this textbook trolling image:
CNN notes that much like America and Trump’s business dealings, Mount Rushmore has a pretty sordid past, which activists and native tribal leaders have criticized. During Trump’s July 4th speech to the people of South Dakota, Trump said that much like his wall that has never been built, the monument to the forefathers of whiteness will “stand forever as an eternal tribute to our forefathers, and to our freedom.”
“As we meet here tonight there is a growing danger that threatens every blessing our ancestors fought so hard for,” Trump warned.
Unfortunately, Trump wasn’t talking about stopping COVID-19 or shoring up the economy, he was talking about protecting a rock carving of white men’s faces and nothing says narcissistic personality disorder like being the worst president in American history and still wanting a statue carved on the side of a mountain in your honor.
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