Trumpcare Vote Put on Hold Because It’s a Hot Trashtastic Mess

Now-Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) in 2014 (Alex Wong/Getty Images)
Now-Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) in 2014 (Alex Wong/Getty Images)

Senate Republicans have delayed their plans to vote on their newest Trumpcare bill because they now realize what many knew when GOP leaders locked themselves into a room to craft this deadweight anchor of a bill: It’s trash.


The Senate Republicans version of Trumpcare—the Better Care Reconciliation Act—is a hot piece of trashy mess. Moderate and conservative Republicans alike have begun to push back on this trashtastic version of health care legislation, which should have been written on toilet tissue.

According to Politico, Republicans plan to take another swing at this shitty-ass draft “over the July 4th recess and get a new analysis from the Congressional Budget Office.”

Oh, and by the way, in case any of us weren’t keeping up on the CBO’s take on this latest bill, the folks there hated it. They called this bill the Azealia Banks of bills and asked that it be removed from their sight! They wouldn’t even allow a congressional aide to dispose of it in an office trash can—they made the aide go outside and bury it.

President Vladimir Von Trumpelstiltskin has invited Senate Republicans to the White House, where he will most likely vaguely threaten them into voting yes for this shitatastic bill to discuss GOP plans, Politico reports.

“At least five Senate Republicans—moderate Sens. Susan Collins and Dean Heller and conservative Sens. Ron Johnson, Rand Paul and Mike Lee—have said they’re not ready to vote on the Obamacare repeal bill without alterations. McConnell can only afford to lose two senators, and a significant bloc of other senators are undecided,” Politico reports.

While Republican leaders are still trying to act as if this bill has a chance, without a complete overhaul, this bill will most likely have the same career Danity Kane once had.


I hope that his bill suffers a grave injury and then has to rely on Trumpcare to fix it. Only then will Trumpcare supporters recognize how nonsensical this bill really is. Who am I kidding? No, they won’t.

Read more at Politico.


Edfonzo Algardo

Of course these five Republican holdouts are fine, principled ladies and gentlemen who can be relied on to put the nation’s best interests first.

Lol j/k, they’re going to wheel and deal with Trump to try to get bought off and then claim that some obscure, inconsequential tweak allayed their fears. In return, some pet piece of legislation they’ve been pining for will suddenly see the light of day, or some base that’s set to be closed will stay open, or some such payoff.