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Trump: You Know Who This COVID-19 Mess and Racial Unrest Is Really Hurting? Me!

Illustration for article titled Trump: You Know Who This COVID-19 Mess and Racial Unrest Is Really Hurting? Me!
Photo: JIM WATSON (Getty Images)

The real victim, the one we rarely talk about during this pandemic and racially trying times isn’t the families who are hurting from the coronavirus, or those who have lost loved ones. It’s not even those who have been victims of systemic racism or those who have shortened their lives trying to explain to white co-workers why “All lives matter” is a racist battle cry.

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The real victim here is the trust fund baby who grew up surrounded by wealth and had his entire life given to him, including his presidency, or at least that’s how he sees it.

According to the Washington Post: President WahWah Von WoeIsMe has been crying in his cornflakes and hasn’t even had enough energy to punch South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham in the balls. We know this because Graham asked that his ball gag be removed only to complain that, if he’s not going to be beaten then why is he here!?

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Apparently, the president of people who won’t wear a mask but would freely kiss a jackal in the mouth has been sulking around the White House complaining that the coronavirus ruined the economy that he takes credit for but was really the work of the Obama administration. He’s also upset with the “fake news” media, which he complains never gives him any credit.

“And he bemoans the ‘sick, twisted’ police officers in Minneapolis, whose killing of an unarmed black man in their custody provoked the nationwide racial justice protests that have confounded the president,” the Post reports.

I guess the president’s advisers miss the grumpy orange bitch who used to ride his grocery store scooter around the White House yelling, “you’re fired” and telling people about the real Meatloaf who most people don’t get to see.

The new Trump, the one who knows his White House days are numbered, reportedly just waxes about how the nation’s turmoil, all of this craziness, has ruined him, proving once again the president doesn’t have whatever muscle that exhibits self-reflection and responsibility.

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From the Post:

The president has cast himself in the starring role of the blameless victim — of a deadly pandemic, of a stalled economy, of deep-seated racial unrest, all of which happened to him rather than the country. Trump put his self-victimization on public display Thursday in response to a Supreme Court ruling rejecting his claim of absolute immunity and permitting a New York prosecutor to see the president’s private and business financial records.

Trump reacted with a social media meltdown, writing on Twitter, “PROSECUTORIAL MISCONDUCT!” and “POLITICAL WITCH HUNT!” He wrote that the decision was “Not fair to this Presidency” and claimed that “Courts in the past have given ’broad deference’. BUT NOT ME!

Trump has always exhibited a healthy ego and his self-victimization tendencies are not a new phenomenon, according to those who have known him over the years. But those characteristics have been especially pronounced this summer, revealing themselves almost daily in everything from private conversations to public tweets as the pandemic continues to upend daily life across America and threaten the president’s political fortunes.Barbara Res, a former executive at the Trump Organization, said that when she worked for Trump, he interpreted nearly everything in deeply personal terms.“Whatever bad happened, no matter what it was, it was always against him, always directed at him,” Res said. “He would say, ‘Why does everything always happen to me?’ ”She added: “It was as if the world revolved around him. Everything that happened had an effect on him, good or bad.”

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More than 130,000 Americans so far have died of the novel coronavirus, and that number is growing every day. Some 3 million cases have been reported and almost 43 million have applied for unemployment since COVID-19 came through and started shaking the tables. The nation has also been reeling from the horrible death of George Floyd who died in Minneapolis police custody because an officer, who is surely going to hell, kneeled on his neck for 8:46.

Those around Trump have been trying to get him to see the sunnier side of things. Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz reportedly showed up at the White House with a fresh caftan of baby goat blood but the president didn’t budge. Gaetz then offered to have his adopted adult son, who was never legally adopted, be his surrogate fists and punch Graham for him but the president didn’t budge off the couch. He reportedly asked if anyone had Melania’s boyfriend’s number so he could talk to her, but no one knew it.

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Holy fuck look at this from the Post:

Other top White House advisers — including Hope Hicks and Dan Scavino — have also sought to buttress Trump’s mood with events they thought he would enjoy, such as celebrating truckers by bringing 18-wheelers onto the White House South Lawn in mid-April or creating social media videos that feature throngs of his adoring fans, according to aides.

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What the fuck kind of babychild do we have in the White House in which they planned a fucking 18-wheeler day party for his ass? This reminds me of a really bad Richard Pryor movie called The Toy.

Speaking of, has anyone heard from the Doctor of Houses, Ben Carson? If I hear that he’s in charge of being a man-nanny for the fucking president, I’m going to lose it as everyone knows that’s Jared’s job.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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DISCUSSION

I think he knows that he’s going to lose in November. He’s going to be humiliated, the first one-term president in a long time. And then there’s a real chance that he’s going to die in prison.