Trump Wanted the Justice Dept. to Investigate Clinton, Comey, the Guy Who Took His Lunch Money in 3rd Grade... Everybody

Illustration for article titled Trump Wanted the Justice Dept. to Investigate Clinton, Comey, the Guy Who Took His Lunch Money in 3rd Grade... Everybody
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The mafia president of the United States was reportedly shocked to learn that Department of Justice officials aren’t his personal hitmen who he can use to go after whomever he likes.


According to the New York Times, if the dictator in chief (emphasis on dick) had it his way, the DOJ would’ve opened cases on both former secretary of state Hillary Clinton and former FBI director James Comey. Below is actual footage of President Trump telling the DOJ his intentions.

And, according to CNN, it would’ve also been a clear-cut case of abuse of power that could’ve effectively ended his presidency. Luckily for him, racism, and the 53% percent of white women who voted against their own self-interest to elect him president, then-White House Counsel Don McGahn and other senior officials talked him out of it.

This proves a widely held belief of those didn’t vote for this flaming bag of Cheetos extract that there are a group of folks around him saving us from a hell that is worse than we could ever imagine. Just think of how many times someone on Trump’s staff had to switch out the nuclear button for a Staples “Easy” button. How many times has a staffer run in with a bucket of KFC just to keep him from launching a strike against Wakanda? America owes a lot to Russian prostitutes for their service to keeping America safe.

Trump has never been shy about asking why the DOJ wasn’t investigating Hillary Clinton’s emails as the former 2016 Democratic presidential nominee allegedly used a private email for government business and deleted thousands of emails when the block got hot.

Well, it turns out the red-faced MAGA crowd who were leading chants of “lock her up” during Trump’s presidential rallies weren’t alone. The president reportedly asked McGahn to get the Justice Department to prosecute Clinton and fire FBI Director Comey but Trump’s former attorney told him he was set-tripping.


Live footage of Trump talking with former lawyer McGahn about prosecuting Clinton and Comey.

Because the president is petty AF and because he doesn’t understand how any of this works, he literally believed that he could strongarm the DOJ into killing Clay Davis going after Clinton and Comey.


CNN reports:

But that he would actually believe he has the power to follow through on his demands and such action would be politically acceptable is the most alarming takeaway from the reports.

A prosecution of Clinton — possibly over her private email server or an Obama-era uranium deal struck with Russia, both while she was secretary of state — would have challenged the fundamentals of the political system itself. American democracy since George Washington, the first president, has been assured by the peaceful transfer of power between often bitter rivals. In a saga that became embroiled in the 2016 election, the FBI investigated Clinton’s email use, but declined to recommend charges.

Mobilizing the government’s prosecutorial powers against Comey would represent a vindictive swipe against a political enemy, a worrying sign in itself.

But it could also have led Trump onto perilous legal ground because he fired Comey and then told NBC News he had done so because of the Russia investigation — which Comey was then leading — raising concerns that the President had obstructed justice.


The president has been vocal about the head of the DOJ insulating him from the Russia probe and has been adamant that the entire case is a witch hunt. What this newest report confirms is that the president is as petty as you thought he was, which I’m sure doesn’t come as a surprise.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.


Not Enough Day Drinking

And, according to CNN, it would’ve also been a clear-cut case of abuse of power that could’ve effectively ended his presidency

Except this is the scary part. It assumes a functioning government filled with people who care about maintaining the government in working order. We don’t have that.

There are only two ways to remove a president during his term (well, three really but I don’t need attention from the Secret Service):

  • Impeachment in the House with a simple majority followed by conviction in the Senate with two-thirds majority
  • The invocation of the 25 amendment which would require Mike Pence and the majority of the cabinet (all appointed by Trump) to declare him incapable of doing his job, but if Trump challenges you still need 2/3rds of both the House and Senate to uphold it (in other words, it’s harder than impeachment)

Republicans in congress have shown that they do not care what this president does. They will not investigate, challenge, or convict him no matter what. Without republicans agreeing that the laws of the country are more important than ‘owning the libs’, Trump can take a shit on the Constitution without worry.