Trump to Ballots: I’m Going to Punch You in the Nuts!

Illustration for article titled Trump to Ballots: I’m Going to Punch You in the Nuts!
Photo: SAUL LOEB (Getty Images)

I’m not sure what ballots have done to President Trump but he hates them.

Maybe it’s because he knows that ballots can’t be tampered with. Maybe he knows that a physical ballot is a receipt of a vote cast, most likely against his ass. So, the president of people who really wanted to make ass cleavage a thing has staked a full-on fight against ballots.


On Wednesday, the president of people whose heels hang off the back of their open-toed shoes refused to commit to a peaceful transfer of power should he lose to Joe Biden because he only sees the election one of two ways: He gets another four years in office or something went wrong, and by something, I mean Russian interference didn’t work.

“Well, we’re going to have to see what happens,” Trump said. “You know that I’ve been complaining very strongly about the ballots, and the ballots are a disaster.”

Pressed further, Trump said: “We’ll want to have — get rid of the ballots and you’ll have a very — we’ll have a very peaceful — there won’t be a transfer, frankly. There’ll be a continuation,” NBC News reports.

This isn’t the first time that King Joffrey Baratheon refused to commit to leaving the White House should the election show that the loser has lost. In June, he told Fox News’ Chris Wallace he’d “have to see” and claimed that mail-in voting will “rig the election.”

From NBC News:

Trump has repeatedly assailed mail-in voting as widely fraudulent, but he and his campaign have released no evidence to prove it. Even though the president and first lady Melania Trump have voted by mail and his campaign and Republicans have encouraged voters in key swing states to request ballots, his campaign is suing multiple states over mail-in voting rules.

Earlier Wednesday, Trump said he wanted to have the next Supreme Court justice confirmed ahead of the election so the high court could rule on the contest.

“I think this will end up in the Supreme Court, and I think it’s very important that we have nine justices, and I think the system’s going to go very quickly,” Trump said at the White House, adding that “having a 4-4 situation is not a good situation.”


Biden was asked about Trump’s comments to which he replied: “Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with this nigga?” “What country are we in?

“He says the most irrational things,” Biden said. “I don’t know what to say to that. It doesn’t surprise me,” NBC News reports.


Even “Stalin,” the fifth ninja turtle, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) couldn’t get down with Trump’s brand of fuckshit.

“The winner of the November 3 election will be inaugurated on January 20,” he tweeted. “There will be an orderly transition just as there has been every four years since 1792.”


And if you were wondering why Republicans are adamant about filling Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s Supreme Court seat, Trump’s favorite stepping stool, South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham, spelled it out on Fox News on Thursday.

“People wonder about the peaceful transfer of power,” he said. “I can assure you it will be peaceful. Now we may have litigation about who won the election, but the court will decide, and if Republicans lose, we’ll accept that result. But we need a full court.”

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.


Lord Whistledown

I’m not too worried...yet.

Though the GOP is definitely trying the hail mary of “once again let the court pick a president” I think Trump himself is just spewing to deflect from the news that Tish is coming for Eric.

This is what he does:

“Representatives of Saudi Arabia say that Jamal Khashoggi was an ‘enemy of the state’ and a member of the Muslim Brotherhood,” [Trump’s] statement read, “but my decision is in no way based on that — this is an unacceptable and horrible crime.”

“King Salman and Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman vigorously deny any knowledge of the planning or execution of the murder of Mr. Khashoggi,” it continued. “Our intelligence agencies continue to assess all information, but it could very well be that the Crown Prince had knowledge of this tragic event — maybe he did and maybe he didn’t!”

“That being said, we may never know all of the facts surrounding the murder of Mr. Jamal Khashoggi,” it went on. “In any case, our relationship is with the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.”

Again, there was no obvious prompt for the statement. No obvious urgency demanding Trump step up to cast doubt about MBS’s culpability or to smear Khashoggi’s reputation. Just an out-of-the-blue what-are-ya-gonna-do about the death of a guy from Virginia murdered as he was trying to finalize plans for his marriage.

On Wednesday, we learned about an apparent motive, if not the apparent motive: Trump released the statement to draw attention away from questions about his daughter Ivanka Trump’s use of a private email account while working for Trump’s administration.

Most frustrating is that the press falls for this shit again and again. They need to keep reporting on the graft and corruption and less on the anti-democratic threats. People by-and-large don’t understand what a bunch of fucking grifters this family is.