Trump to Announce Supreme Court Nominee in Prime Time Because He’s a Drama Queen

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President Shoo-Shoo Von ApprenticeFace only knows how to win the ratings. He’s yet to realize that running the country isn’t a popularity contest and as such, Donald Trump is building anticipation for his Supreme Court nominee announcement as if he’s LeBron famously saying “I’m going to take my talent to South Beach.” And we all know how well that went over.


This is what happens when fifty-three percent of white women vote against their self-interest and nominate a former reality TV show host into the most powerful seat in the land. With less than two weeks actually spent deciding who would take over retiring Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy’s seat, the president didn’t announce his choice but rather the White House noted that he will be making his announcement at 9 p.m. EST because he’s a messy bitch who lives for drama (Joanne the Scammer voice).

I expect Trump to be draped in diamonds and walk to the podium like this:

When he gets to the mic, I would expect nothing less than a few of these:

At this point, I expect nothing less than a man in a KFC chicken costume to try and interrupt Trump to which he does this:


Seriously, Trump loves nothing if not drama. It’s why still holds rallies despite being a year into his job. It’s why he trolls people on Twitter and makes up nicknames for U.S. Congress members. He’s a trash-ass president pulling a trash-ass stunt to announce a trash-ass nominee that has the potential to change the course of American history for years to come. And this president sees this as nothing more than an opportunity to play to his own ego.

And of course, Trump’s lazy ass was at a golf course in New Jersey when reporters hunted him down to ask if he was still deciding on a nominee.


“It’s—well, let’s just say it’s the four people. Every one, you can’t go wrong,” he said, according to NPR.

The four reported finalists for the top judicial position in the United States are all U.S. appeals court judges and include: Brett Kavanaugh, Amy Coney Barrett, Raymond Kethledge and Thomas Hardiman, cites NPR.


Here’s everything you need to know about each of the nominees:

Brett Kabanaugh—Trash

Amy Coney Barrett—Basura

Raymond Kethledge—Garbage

Thomas Hadiman—Refuse

At this point, it’s a wait-and-see game since all of Trump’s potential nominees suck. It’s just a matter of whether or not they Jeff Sessions-suck or Scott Pruitt-suck. There are suck levels to this shit.


But this really isn’t about the pick for Trump, because in truth, I don’t think any of the nominees matter to him, as they are just names. This is just another opportunity for a two-bit reality TV show huckster to sell his wares in primetime, as everything Trump does is always about the business of building the Trump ego.



One of them is friends with his sister, so it’ll probably be that one.

Don’t ask me which one because it really doesn’t matter.