Donald Trump Sounds Crazy at Easter Egg Roll, Tells Children the Military Is at a Level They’ve Never Seen Before

President Donald Trump lifts the Easter Bunny’s hand on the Truman Balcony during the 140th annual Easter Egg Roll on the South Lawn of the White House on April 2, 2018, in Washington, D.C.
President Donald Trump lifts the Easter Bunny’s hand on the Truman Balcony during the 140th annual Easter Egg Roll on the South Lawn of the White House on April 2, 2018, in Washington, D.C.
Photo: Chip Somodevilla (Getty Images)

President Donald Trump is crazier than a shit-house rat. I don’t know what a shit house is or why shit-house rats are crazier than normal rats, but I do know that Trump is even crazier.

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On Monday, Trump dyed his body with orange Easter egg paint and greeted the children for the annual Easter Egg Roll on the White House lawn.

Because Trump was speaking to children for less than a few minutes, I’m sure his staff thought, what could go wrong? God bless his staff for not realizing that Trump needs a teleprompter no matter how light the situation.

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According to Raw Story, Trump started his speech to children by calling the White House “this house or building or whatever you want to call it because there is no name for it, it is special.” Trump then noted that he and his staff keep the building or whatever you want to call it “in tip-top shape, we call it sometimes tippy-top shape, and it’s a great, great place.”

Because “tippy-top shape” is a nice, natural segue to talking about the military, Trump then changed the topic to funding and noted how the military would soon be “at a level it’s never been before” and said, “You see what’s happening with funding” and “Just think of $700 billion, because that’s what’s going into our military this year.”

Also, no word on whether or not that is, in fact, former White House press secretary Sean Spicer in the bunny costume.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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DISCUSSION

stalkinggoat
sTalkinggoat attacks! with Trollhammer for 14 DMG

A shithouse, outhouse or latrine is an enclosed structure for privacy and “comfort”(lol) over a pit dug for shitting in. Three types of animals generally take up residence in shithouses. Spiders, Snakes and Rats.

Spiders you want. They keep the flies under control and generally keep to themselves in the corners.

Snakes, depending on if there are venomous species where your shithouse is located can be a problem but easily avoided with a few precautions. See latrines generate lot of heat from decomposing fecal matter. Snakes like heat and especially at night, snakes like to park themselves just inside the latrine hole usually under the seat you installed so that you wouldn’t just be squatting over an open hole. Banging on or kicking the seat to warn away any snakes is good idea unless you like fang marks on your ass.

Shithouse rats are the ones you have to watch out for. They generally tend to be large and aggressive and crazy because you would have to be to be a rat that decides to live in a place that attracts snakes.

Then there is the dreaded Rat King. I’ve never encountered one personally, I’m not sure my sanity would survive a midnight encounter with Rat King. But I’m about 90% confident that whole Slouching towards Bethlehem thing about the apocalypse is in reference to a Shithouse Rat King.