Illustration for article titled Trump Shares Video Claiming ‘the Only Good Democrat Is a Dead Democrat’
Photo: OLIVIER DOULIERY (Getty Images)

Look, this isn’t Trump’s fault. In truth, he saw white men in cowboy hats and how was he supposed to know that they were promoting killing Democrats? I mean, sure, he could’ve played the video and listened to it but why would he do that? I mean, sure, he wouldn’t let a yokel in a cowboy hat within ten feet of his Trump establishments but the president is selling an image and cowboys align with all his other “I love America” bullshit.

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The video that the president of people who deep-fry desserts retweeted from his official Twitter account was titled “Cowboys for Trump,” and a goofy guy in the cowboy hat literally starts by saying “The only good Democrat is a dead Democrat.”

I’m not sure if this is a repurposed phrase but the original and only phrase like this that I know is: “the only good nigger is a dead nigga.” Please correct me in the comments if I’m wrong.

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Around midnight, just a little after he put Sen. Lindsey Graham into his toddler bed and turned out the light, Trump tweeted the video with the message: “Thank you Cowboys. See you in New Mexico!”

Yeah, so that’s it, that the story. The president doesn’t watch the videos he retweets—or does he? Wait—if he watched it then that would mean that the president agrees that “the only good Democrat is a dead Democrat”? Clearly, that’s what the grown man in the cowboy hat said. Sidenote: White America, if you want to be taken seriously, kill it with the cowboy hats. Cowboy hats should only be worn by children imitating cowboys and lions riding motorcycles. There is nothing tough about a white guy with a beer gut and a cowboy hat. Not. One. Thing.

The speaker, who we will call Fetus for brevity and clarity, immediately clarifies that he doesn’t mean killing people but merely killing of the democratic agenda. Fuck Fetus and his rationale. Fuck Fetus and his president. Fuck Fetus and his cowboy hat. And fuck this story and this president.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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