Trump’s Niece Goes Full 6ix9ine, Spills all the Tea in New Tell-All. We Must Protect Her at All Costs

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Turns out that Trump’s niece, Mary Trump, is part of the resistance, or she just happens to hate her uncle just as much as the rest of America, but either way she’s set to release a tell-all book that is expected to blow the barn doors off the White (Supremacy) House.


According to the Daily Beast, Mary Trump’s, Too Much And Never Enough will be released on July 28, just a few weeks before the Republican National Convention, and Uncle Trump may want to double up on his Depends. The book is reportedly “harrowing and salacious” stories about the president, according to people with knowledge of the project.

Oh, and get this, remember the New York Times piece that explained in-depth all of the tax schemes Trump and his father used to avoid paying taxes on their wealth? Well, it turns out that Mary Trump, daughter of Fred Trump Jr. and eldest grandchild of Fred Trump Sr., was the primary source behind all of that information and even provided tax returns and confidential family information for the paper’s exclusive.

The Times would go on to win a Pulitzer for the investigative piece and Mary Trump, 55, would go on dazzling America with her in-depth knowledge of one of the worst families known to man.

From the Daily Beast:

Details of the book are being closely guarded by its publisher, Simon & Schuster, but The Daily Beast has learned that Mary plans to include conversations with Trump’s sister, retired federal judge Maryanne Trump Barry, that contain intimate and damning thoughts about her brother, according to people with knowledge of the matter.

Mary Trump has kept out of the public eye and has not spoken publicly in decades—but in 2000, amidst a bitter family court battle over Fred Trump Sr.’s will, she told the New York Daily News, “Given this family, it would be utterly naive to say it has nothing to do with money. But for both me and my brother, it has much more to do with that our father [Fred Jr.] be recognized,” she said.

Fred Trump Jr., the firstborn son and once the heir apparent to his father’s real estate empire, worked for Trans World Airlines after turning his back on the family business.

He died in 1981 aged just 42 from a heart attack owing to complications from his alcoholism, leaving behind a son, Fred the 3rd, and daughter Mary, who has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology.

The circumstances of Fred Trump Jr.’s descent into alcoholism are also aired in the book, with allegations that Donald and Fred Trump Sr. contributed to his death and neglected him at critical stages of his addiction.

The book is expected to send shockwaves throughout the White House, which is already experiencing its own shakeup as nothing is happening at the moment but with Trump at the helm, everything stays on shaky ground. While other books have been written about Trump and his deplorable lifestyle and highly questionable business practices, this is the first time a family member with insider information has written a book exposing all of the family secrets. Please keep an eye on Mary Trump. Please guard her with special forces and keep her away from that bitch Carole Baskin.


Sorely Vexed

As long as Trump’s base continues to believe he’s an instrument of “God’s will,” nothing will shake their faith in him.

The door on that was closed back in’16, when various preachers started spreading the message that God often chooses “flawed vessels” to perform His mysterious works. And ya can’t get much more flawed than Trump.

So Trump could be revealed as a baby-killing, chicken-molesting, Satan-worshiping mass murderer, and his cult would just shrug and say, “Sure, but God thinks he’s the best guy for the job, so he's got my vote.”