Illustration for article titled Trump Just Claimed He’s Taking Hydroxychloroquine. Hes Probably Lying and 2 More Ways to View This Revelation
Photo: Brendan Smialowski (Getty Images)

The president of the United States ran out here and purchased a Cadillac Escalade full of hydroxychloroquine, the drug that, at one point, showed a glimmer of hope against the coronavirus, but new research showed that it may be more fatal for some, especially those with heart conditions, and for those it didn’t kill, it was deemed useless. Yet none of this—not science, not deaths, not results or non-results, for that matter—has stopped the president from moving full-speed ahead with his ringing endorsement of the drug used to treat malaria.

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Well, on Monday, the president told a group of stunned reporters that he’s not only a spokesperson for the drug, he’s also a member as he admitted that he started taking the controversial drug some weeks ago.

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Trump claimed that people would be surprised at how many people were taking the drug, which the Food and Drug Administration has warned against taking outside a hospital environment or clinical trial. Then, he admitted that he’s been taking the drug.

What in the holy fuck?

There are three ways we can look at this:

  1. The president is lying. I don’t know why he’s lying, but I know that he’s a liar and I know that liars lie. That’s their job in the same way that haters hate.
  2. He is a white man, which is the equivalent of staying at Holiday Inn Express, which means that you don’t have to listen to science or doctors or anyone else, because you just know more than the rest of the world. Like this guy who worked as a surgeon.
  3. He’s batshit crazy and has so many drugs in his system that, much like Keith Richards and Ozzy Osbourne before him, his body is going to be studied by scientists once he passes.

No word on whether the president is drinking bleach, but this is surely going to have a huge impact on his voters, who have ignored science, Dr. Anthony Fauci, black people with science degrees and women to follow Golden Corral Jesus’ word on medications and their effectiveness during a global pandemic.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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