Trump Implies That He Wants Robert Mueller Gone and Lied About the Comey Tapes to Keep the Ex-FBI Director Honest

Scott Olson/Getty Images
Scott Olson/Getty Images

This fidget-spinner-ass administrator can’t stop spinning the truth. President Molten Lava Face had one of his friends from Fake News Fox News over to the White House to feather him with only the softest of questions, but from that interview—which was shot Thursday and aired Friday morning—I was able to ascertain two things: Special counsel Robert S. Mueller III, who is investigating the president’s campaign ties to Russia, is on the chopping block, and the president lied about having tapes of his and former FBI Director James Comey’s private conversations because he’s a lying-ass liar.


When asked by Ainsley Earhardt, a favorite of the Trump White House and a co-host of Fox & Friends, whether Mueller should recuse himself from the investigation, the Washington Post notes that Trump said three times, “We’ll have to see.” Trump also stated that he isn’t fond of Comey’s friendship with Mueller, calling the relationship “very bothersome” and “ridiculous.”

“He’s very, very good friends with Comey, which is very bothersome,” Trump said. He added: “The people that have been hired are all Hillary Clinton supporters. Some of them worked for Hillary Clinton. I mean, the whole thing is ridiculous, if you want to know the truth, from that standpoint.”

Because Trump runs the White House like a dictator, he doesn’t believe this it’s possible for someone who has opposing political beliefs to conduct an impartial investigation. He hasn’t liked Mueller since he was chosen to lead the deep dive into TrumPutin’s obvious Russia connections, and has been vocal about it.

According to the Post, Trump has talked with advisers and friends about the possibility of firing Mueller, but TrumPutin did at least know how to sound diplomatic during his interview, which aired Friday, when he stated, “Robert Mueller is an honorable man, and hopefully he’ll come up with an honorable solution.”

Trump also took a moment to declare his innocence, because of course he would.

“Look, there has been no obstruction,” Trump told Fox. “There has been no collusion. There has been leaking by Comey. But that’s been no collusion, no obstruction—and virtually everybody agrees to that.”


And he also expressed a fool’s belief that his Senate remix of his shitty health care bill would find some love in Congress.

“We have four very good people that—it’s not that they’re opposed; they’d like to get certain changes,” Trump said about his friendly GOP senators. “And we’ll see if we can take care of that.”


TrumPutin did come close to acknowledging that his health care bill screws the poor. He noted that health care is “a very complicated situation from the standpoint, you do something that’s good for one group but bad for another.”

It’s funny because the whole idea of there being tapes of TrumPutin’s private conversations with Comey came from Trump. After five-and-a-half weeks of allowing the public, Congress, God and everyone else to believe that their conversations might have been recorded, TrumPutin readily admitted that there were no tapes. But the real piece of work here is how Trumpelstiltskin is trying to spin this yarn into gold.


“I didn’t tape,” Trump said. “And I don’t have any tape, and I didn’t tape. But when he found out that I, you know, that there may be tapes out there, whether it’s government tapes or anything else, and who knows, I think his story may have changed. I mean, you’ll have to take a look at that, because then he has to tell what actually took place at the events.”

Trump continued: “My story didn’t change. My story was always a straight story. My story was always the truth. But you’ll have to determine for yourself whether or not his story changed.”


Watch him lie below:


Read more at the Washington Post.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.



My story didn’t change. My story was always a straight story. My story was always the truth.”

But it did! It demonstrably, obviously, did change! Television and the internet and other forms of recorded media exist, and we can see what you’ve said over time, and we can see that it has changed, often, and usually to make even less sense than it did previously! And it was, therefore, neither a straight story nor the truth! Literally everything you’ve said here is a fucking lie!

Jesus Christ, I know he’s full of shit, it shouldn’t bother me, I should just accept that he’s full of shit and ignore him for the sake of my sanity. But he’s the goddamned President of the fucking United States and I know there are tens of millions of stupid people in this country who hear his obvious bullshit and believe it as the gospel truth, so every time he speaks: