Trump Goes on Twitter Rampage, Claims Morning Joe Host ‘Was Bleeding Badly From a Face-Lift’

 Mario Tama/Getty Images
Mario Tama/Getty Images

Donald Trump is a messy bitch. Full stop. Wait, I just got a video message from the president:

On Thursday mooring, instead of focusing his energy on his Trumpcare bill, which is suffering from severe chest pains and shortness of breath, the dictator-in-chief waded into the petty waters to attack Morning Joe co-hosts Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski.

Early in the morning, presumably after Papa Bannon fed and burped him, the president of the United States tweeted:


I blame failed White House press secretary Sean “Spicy Facts” Spicer for this. I imagine that in an attempt to get into the emperor’s good graces, he ran into the Oval Office snitching on the MSNBC hosts. I also imagine that Spicy Facts and the president sound like two hairdressers when they do this:

“Girl, they talking about you again!”

“Who, girl?”

“The MSNBC hosts that love each other!”

Then this petty-ass president went on Twitter to claim that he doesn’t watch the show, but he heard what they said, and as such he has to comment.


I. Can’t. With. This. Fucking. Guy.

I’m truly at a loss for words over the level to which this country, and its president, has fallen. Think about this: America currently has a president who engages in Twitter beef. America has a president who went to Twitter to fuss-fight with morning-show hosts who criticized his administration. America has a president who is a sophomore in high school. America has a president who is a laughingstock to other world leaders.


Why, America? And by “America,” I mean racist white America, and I also mean 53 percent of white women, and I also mean Russia. Why have you done this to the rest of us?

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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Obama wears jeans and it causes The Right to go into histrionics about him being “unprofessional and unpresidential.” Trump gets in Twitter cat fights with daily talk show hosts, but it’s fine.