Where is President HooHoo Von Swizzledick?
Itβs been 13 hours since the president delivered his long-ass, shoutout speech, in which he begged up Navy veterans, a child cancer patient, himself and his wife, Melaniaβwho came to the State of the Union in a separate car because even sheβs hate riding with his assβand the president canβt be found.
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Not one wayward tweet. Not one appearance. Itβs as if the president walked out of his long ass SOTU speech and got into his car alone and blocked off the next 13 hours as executive time.
Has anyone checked his sleeping coffin to see if heβs OK? Has, the executive aide in charge of bringing him his warm goatβs blood in a sippy cup seen him? If heβs not tweeting and if heβs still sleeping then is South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham OK? Graham normally sleeps at the foot of the coffin in case the president has the urge to punch him in the face and without the presidentβs had up his ass to help move his mouth, is Graham even able to communicate?
Is Russian President and Trumpβs boo Vladimir Putin in the White House? Did the schedule private time after Trumpβs speech so that they could hold each other and watch Pinky and the Brain? Did he use the private entrance to Trumpβs bedroom? Has anyone else noticed that Vladimir Putinβs initials are V.P.? Itβs been right there in front of us this whole time! Vladimir Putin is the goddamn Vice President! Has anyone checked on the Mike Pence ventriloquist dummy doll that sat behind the president during his SOTU address?
I never thought Iβd see the day where I was looking for a presidential tweet but the absence of Trump being snarky on Twitter or at least clapping back at all of the negative media surrounding his speech has me worried. Unless today is presidential bath day and then we all know that can take all day to get the fire department grade hoses to clean all the government grade orange tint off his flaky white skin.
Someone needs to tell us something.
Straight From
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