Trump Claimed He Was Going to Book a Big Stadium to Campaign for Ted Cruz. Then He Booked a Shoe Box

Back when Trump was campaigning to be the Republican nominee for president, he used to call Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX), who is definitely not the Zodiac killer, Lyin’ Ted. Cruz lovingly called Trump a “sniveling coward” and “pathological liar.”

My, how power and an untanned ass in front of Cruz’s face have changed things! The two now love each other, so much so that in August Trump claimed he was going to hold a “major rally” for Cruz in “the biggest stadium in Texas we can find.” Cruz is in a tightly-contested race against the people’s champ, Beto O’Rourke,

Well, The Hill reports that they’ve found that stadium. And no, it’s not Kyle Field, which seats 102,995. It’s not Darrell K Royal-Texas Memorial Stadium, which can seat 100,119. It’s not even AT&T stadium, which holds about 80,000 but can be expanded to 100,000 or accommodate close to 110,000 if it pushes the limits.

Nope, for Trump’s closest ass-kisser and holder of his nuts when Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) is not around, Trump has booked the NRG Arena that seats about....wait for it:

8,000.

Because the news is laughable, Trump’s aides are running damage control, claiming that this was the largest place available. An unidentified aide not named John Barron told The Dallas Morning News the arena was the biggest location available on Oct. 22. They added that the arena’s sister site, the NRG stadium, which can hold 80,000 people, is holding a monster truck event, to which Trump exclaimed, “But those are my people!”

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It’s believed that Pastor Joel Osteen noted he wanted to use his church as a donation center and cited flooding as the reason his space would not be available to the president.

“The Toyota Center, home to the Houston Rockets, has a comedy show scheduled two days before the campaign event, and a concert set for the day after,” The Hill reports.

The Hill notes that Trump has a series of rallies scheduled because this bitch loves rallying. He’s expected to make stops in “Tennessee, Mississippi, Pennsylvania, Ohio and Kentucky to boost Republican candidates and tout his accomplishments ahead of the midterms.”

Yeah, good luck with that rally for Cruz, (who, I may add, is definitely not the man who murdered 3 women and four men between the ages of 16 and 29), essentially inside a junior high school gym.