Since his arrest early Friday morning, former Trump adviser and self-described “dirty trickster,” Roger Stone walked out of jail like he’d just been nominated for several awards for his portrayal of an incompetent political operative. Literally after he emerged from jail, he stood on the steps holding up his outstretched arms and wagging his Richard Nixon-esque fingers as if to imply, “I am not a crook.”
He’s done all of the talk shows.
All. Of. Them.
And then on Tuesday, the slender white guy with the Nixon tattoo on his back (I wish I was joking) and dresses like a Detroit pimp, walked into a courtroom and pleaded not guilty to seven criminal counts, including witness tampering and obstruction of justice in special counsel Robert Mueller’s Russia probe.
Oh, and for good measure, Stone is also “accused of lying to congressional investigators about his alleged work to inform the Trump campaign about the timing of document releases by the anti-secrecy group WikiLeaks that would be damaging to Trump’s then-Democrat opponent Hillary Clinton,” USA Today reports.
At this point, I’m concerned that Stone has no idea what the hell is happening and thoroughly believes he’s doing the reality show Who Wants to Go to Prison, or maybe it’s The Apprison starring Donald Trump.
There is really only one route when the special counsel brings charges, and that’s cooperating. In fact, I don’t even consider it snitching. It’s just agreeing that there is no choice. They didn’t randomly pull Stone’s name out of a pinstriped fedora if they are bringing charges; it’s because they found out all they need to know.
Either way, Stone was ordered by U.S. Magistrate Judge Deborah A. Robinson to return to court for another hearing on Friday. She also told Stone not to contact witnesses in the case and to check in with the court once a week.
“Yes, your honor,” Stone said when asked if understood the conditions of his release, USA Today reports.
Something tells me Stone will be on the nighttime news shows this evening in some wide-legged pastor pants, posing and primping and acting as if this is all a show, so no one tell him once he’s found guilty that he isn’t on 60 Days In.