This Year, I Am My Own Valentine

Illustration for article titled This Year, I Am My Own Valentine
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Each year when Valentine’s Day comes around, those of us who are un-partnered are reminded of our singleness as we watch couples expressing love for each other at work, at school, in public and all across social media.

The holiday is sometimes jokingly called “Singles Awareness Day” for the simple fact that the flurry of romantic activity going on all around us is a constant reminder that we...ain’

But is being single on Valentine’s Day necessarily a bad thing?

I used to think it was, when I subscribed to the ideas of romance and romantic love that have been normalized and shoved down our throats since we were children.


Every girl is supposed to want a man who comes along, sweeps her off her feet and sends a gigantic bouquet of flowers along with a box of candy to her job so that she can be the envy of all her coworkers.

I don’t work in an office. I work remotely, and I doubt anyone at The Root actually gives a damn about what I have going on for “Love Day.”

I came into this Valentine’s Day with the idea that I would be my own “Valentime.”

I’m still moving forward with the idea of dating myself for the time being, and with that in mind, I made plans to treat myself the way I want to be treated when the work week ended.


I know there are some who would view the idea of dating yourself as being very sad, but it honestly has some built-in benefits that you may no be aware of.

First of all, you get to do what you want, when you want and how you want. You get to pick the restaurant, the movie, the date night activity and whether or not you feel like doing anything at all.


You get to center your feelings and not worry about anyone else’s. This is so important, because it puts you in touch with your own needs and wants and gives you an opportunity to focus on them.

You get the chance to be still. You don’t have to try to figure out what another person is thinking, what they may be hiding or what parts of them you may not like.


In this instance, it is all about you. Trust me, it’s worth it.

So what are my plans for this Valentine’s Day weekend?

I plan to get an expensive manicure and pedicure first of all. I am also going to get a Brazilian and then go to the day spa to get my body scrubbed, a facial and sit in a mud bath.


I’m going to follow that up with a nice dinner at Ruth’s Chris (I love their seared ahi and their lobster mac and cheese), two expensive bottles of wine at home, and when I’m done with all of that—I’m going to put out for myself because I am a damn good date.

Go ahead and laugh, but believe me when I tell you that I give myself better (squirting) orgasms than most men I’ve been with. Some of y’all just don’t get it and ain’t got it, so in true black woman fashion, I am usually left with the feeling of fuck it, I’ll do it.


My Hitachi Magic Wand gets the fucking job done. Sometimes I have to tell him to slow down.

On Sunday, I will get up and have brunch and then treat myself to a little bit of shopping. I’ve had my eye on this cute pair of shoes, so my date is going to buy them for me.


There’s no work on Monday, so I will get some excellent takeout and binge watch the rest of The Handmaid’s Tale before having another session of self pleasure and passing out for the night.

I don’t know anyone who could plan a better Valentine’s Day weekend for me, so I planned it for myself. As part of my campaign to date myself and spend some time knowing and loving me, this is the ideal situation.


I won’t have to kick anyone out at the end of the night, and if I change my mind about any part of the plan, there’s no one to get pissed about it.

I love me.

This weekend I am going to show me just how much.

News Editor for The Root. I said what I said. Period.

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I’m afraid to get waxed, or a Brazilian, so I salute you.