The Los Angeles Clippers aren’t very good.
There are a multitude of reasons as to why that is, but two of the biggest ones are Paul George’s elbow, which may or may not cost him the rest of this season, and Kawhi Leonard’s knee, which is entering its fourth month of load management as he recovers from a torn ACL.
As a result, what’s left of this motley crew has afterthoughts like Luke Kennard and undrafted guard Amir Coffey playing well outside of their roles—kind of like Joe Biden. So I wasn’t exactly surprised when I checked NBA League Pass last night and saw that the Clippers—who recently relocated from Temecula—were getting curb-stomped 36-66 at halftime by the Washington Wizards.
That being said, what I didn’t expect was for my nosey ass to turn on the game and bear witness to this in the closing moments of what I wholeheartedly expected to be a bloodbath:
If you’re completely bewildered and confused, you aren’t alone. Because I had the following questions as I struggled to make sense of what I was watching on all 85 inches of glory in my living room:
- Weren’t these dudes down by 30 points? How in the hell did the Wizards let them come back and win the game?
- How in the hell do you foul somebody on a game-winner?
- HOW DO YOU GIVE UP A 30 POINT LEAD?!?!?!?!?!?!
Upon further review, I would discover that the Wizards didn’t give up a 30-point lead...they gave up a 35-point lead.
To a team that trotted out Nicolas Batum, Ivica Zubiac, Reggie Jackson, Terance Mann, and the aforementioned Coffey as starters.
I don’t see not one nigga on that list who would get picked for an All-Star team in this life, the three after it, or the 247 that followed, let alone picked first in a pick-up game. And they let Kennard go Reggie Miller and drop seven points in the final nine seconds?!
HOW DOES THIS EVEN HAPPEN?!?!
It was at that exact moment that I laughed so hard that I farted—though for some reason, I don’t think Wizards guard Bradley Beal found the Clippers pulling off the biggest comeback win in franchise history even remotely funny.
“What are we trying to achieve, honestly?” he sneered after the game. “What kind of a team are we trying to be? I think that’s my biggest question to all of us as a unit.”
Shit, the way he’s been playing this season, I’m sure there are bigger questions than that. Like when are they trading your ass?
You know things are bad when Quinn Cook, a dude who isn’t even in the league anymore, is volunteering his services to save the Wizards from themselves. He took to Twitter Spaces last night to do exactly that on his campaign trail:
As for the Clippers, they have some sound advice for any team that finds itself on the wrong end of a potential blowout—unless they’re the Lakers.
“You never know when the game’s over,” Coffey told reporters. “Just play through the buzzer.”