The Shutdown Could End Tomorrow But Dealing With Trump Is Like Negotiating With a Criminal

Photo: Zach Gibson (Getty Images)

Before taking office, President Donald Trump shouted from the rafters about his ability to get deals done. He truly sold white America on his business acumen and ability to seal the deal. Now we all realize that his business methods are equivalent to a goon holding a debtor’s kids in a seedy basement until he gets his money.

With the tact of a rhinoceros in a bong shop, president Trump seems to have totally forgotten that he has complete control of Congress until January rolls around. He doesn’t need Democrats to push anything through, including funding for his dumb-ass wall that no one wants.

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There are enough Republican and Democratic votes in the House and Senate to pass a bill that funds the government without money for Trump’s anti-Mexican Night’s Watch border wall. But, as we’ve learned over the past two years, when has Trump ever let the truth get in the way of stoking the flames of his gas fueled base.

Now, the president voted most likely to end the world as we know it is back on Twitter like a teen who learned that his date is going to senior prom with a boy without bone spurs, to claim that the shutdown is all the work of the evil democrats.

We know that the above tweet was written by the president himself just by looking at his random use of capitalization and “gang members.” As we’ve learned over time, much like former Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio, the president is convinced that all Mexicans are “bad hombres.”

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It might be nice if someone inside the White House told the president that he doesn’t need Democrats to get funding for his wall. This assumes, of course, that said White House aides know how to get to the presidential tomb where the president’s sleeping coffin is kept.

All of this comes just days after the president claimed that furloughed workers told him directly that they’re fine with not getting paid.

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Wait... Full stop.

The president is lying and I have proof.

No one in the history of ever has ever said that they are fine with not getting paid. Not ever. Maybe one guy, one really racist rich guy who was handed an empire by his father is OK with not getting paid for working. But no furloughed government worker is OK with working around the holidays and not receiving a paycheck. That’s just a full-on lie., one of the president’s ad-libs in which he just randomly spouts shit and acts as if it’s true.

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Also, let’s examine the president’s declaration that many furloughed workers are Democrats, which is probably true and speaks to two issues. First, I know the president’s intentions was to shame Democrats as if their reluctance to sign a bill that awards the president $5 billion for his Lego wall is the reason that they aren’t getting paid, which we know is false.

Secondly, the president has proven time and again that he is the president of rich white Republicans and as such, he doesn’t care that his gun-to-temple style of governing is affecting people he doesn’t want to govern. He’s not the president of the people he’s hurting so, in short, he doesn’t give a fuck.

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This is why the president has proudly proclaimed that the government shutdown can last until his eternal resting place freezes over because the people directly affected by it aren’t his voters.

As it stands the government has been shut down for six days and Trump has declared that he’s not budging until his wall is fully funded.

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According to NBC News, “Democrats have said they won’t provide Trump with that funding and indicated they won’t go beyond the $1.6 billion that has already been allocated for border wall purposes. Republicans and Democrats reached an agreement last week on a stopgap spending measure to prevent a shutdown — a deal that the White House signaled Trump would sign. But at the 11th hour, Trump scuttled the agreement because it did not provide additional funding for a border wall.”

Democrats are most likely going to blink first and give into the president’s demands, not because they are soft but because you can’t negotiate with a kidnapper who doesn’t care if all of his hostages die.

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Maybe the president does know what he’s doing. Maybe there is an art to his negotiating tactics. Maybe holding America over a cliff with a gun its head is the way to get deals done. Maybe he’s saving the country from gang members, drugs and human trafficking. Perhaps there are people who want him on that wall. Maybe we need him on that wall. After all...

The White House is dark and full of terrors.

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About the author

Stephen A. Crockett Jr.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.