The President of the United States Is Being Sued by a Porn Actress. Yep, America, We’ve Truly Lost It

Stormy Daniels
Stormy Daniels
Photo: Ethan Miller (Getty Images)

I don’t know what’s going on anymore. I’m now openly rooting for a porn actress (I think we use the term “star” too freely when talking about porn) to take down the presidency. And while I know that she won’t, it doesn’t mean I can’t be happy that she’s doing the Messy Lord’s work.


As it stands, porn actress Stormy Daniels—who has a real name, but “Stormy Daniels” seems fitting for this story—is suing Donald Trump, asking the court to nullify her nondisclosure agreement so that she can talk freely about the affair she had with the reality-TV star in 2006, NBC News reports.

The only reason this won’t damage Trump’s presidency is that he connects with his voters the way no other candidate ever has—and that’s because he’s openly racist and other racists love that.


To date, his voters haven’t cared that they lost universal health care or have been lied to about everything from Mexico paying for the wall to him bringing back coal-country jobs. They don’t care about his trysts or his obvious collusion with Russia. Trump’s voters, much like the man himself, care only about one thing: Is he going to openly defy, hurt and damage black and brown people? So long as he does, they will continue to defend a man whose moral bank account looks like former Boston Celtics forward Antoine Walker’s actual bank account.

While we all know that this won’t shake the foundation of the Beverly Hillbillies White House, it doesn’t mean that this can’t be fun. As it stands, White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka Suckabee, is going to have to answer more questions about a porn actress (seriously, has anyone seen any of Daniels’ movies to determine whether she’s even remotely qualified to be considered a porn star?)—and how degrading is that to the highest office in the land?

I wish I had press credentials so that I could sit in the White House press corps and seriously say this:

Hi, Sarah, Stephen A. Crockett Jr. here with The Root. Is there any truth to the claims that the president had porn actress [again, we don’t know if she’s reached academy levels with her performances] Stormy Daniels beat his orange-tinted buttocks with a rolled-up Forbes magazine?


And have to be taken seriously!

But this is the world we live in. Thank you, 53 percent of white women who voted against their self-interests to elect this man.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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This is what happens when you don’t do your research before getting paid off. She took $250k when a book deal would have given her a much larger upfront. It’d have been at least $1 million, right?

White people can’t even grift well.