The President Is Going to Be an Even Lazier Thot in 2018

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If you think President Donald Trump didn’t do shit in 2017, well, he really isn’t going to do shit in 2018, as reports are surfacing that the man with the little hands but the giant nuclear button, who may or may not be able to read, will be starting his workday later so that he can spend more time watching TV and tweeting.

Axios got ahold of Trump’s private schedule, which notes that his workday will now begin around 11 a.m. and he’ll be cutting back on meetings.


Trump’s schedule lists the first part of the day as “Executive Time,” which sounds really presidential but is just a bullshit name for watching TV and tweeting. “Executive Time” is listed as taking place in the Oval Office, but Axios reports that it really takes place in the White House residence.

I believe that this schedule is true, because Trump was up Sunday night popping mad shit on late-night Twitter.

Trump’s first actual presidential appointment happens around 11 a.m., in which highly intelligent staff members try to break down the intelligence report into easily digestible words that Trump can stomach, like, “Libya slavery is big bad.”


Of course, White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka “Suckabee,” tried to spin the whole thing, noting that Trump’s “time in the morning is a mix of residence time and Oval Office time but he always has calls with staff, Hill members, cabinet members and foreign leaders during this time,” she said in a statement to Axios.

The statement continued: “The President is one of the hardest workers I’ve ever seen and puts in long hours and long days nearly every day of the week all year long. It has been noted by reporters many times that they wish he would slow down because they sometimes have trouble keeping up with him.”


Suckabee did not mention that the president has spent some 88 days of his presidency playing golf, which cost taxpayers over $46 million. Or that he’s taken three times as much vacation as former President Barack Obama did at this point in his term.

The Hill reports that Trump’s daily schedule is actually much shorter than those of past presidents, including George W. Bush, who was in the Oval Office at 6:45 a.m., and Obama, who would arrive between 9 and 10 a.m. after his morning workout.


We all know that this president isn’t working out in the morning—unless you consider early-morning tweeting to be a workout, proving writer Michael Arceneaux’s piece for The Root to be even more timely.


Read more at Axios and The Hill.

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About the author

Stephen A. Crockett Jr.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.