President Donald Trump (center) holds a listening session with student survivors of mass shootings, their parents and teachers in the State Dining Room at the White House in Washington, D.C.. on Feb. 21, 2018. (Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

News coming out of Lex Luthor’s secret cave, aka the Trump White House, continues after the president threw a Twitter hissy fit because news folks supposedly misunderstood his call to arm some teachers as a call to arm all teachers.

As we’ve learned with this administration, what Donald Trump says on Wednesday has nothing to do with what he says Thursday. On Wednesday the president suggested that teachers undergo firearm training and then be allowed to carry concealed weapons inside schools.

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“And this would only be, obviously, for people that are very adept at handling a gun. And it would be—it’s called ‘concealed carry,’ where a teacher would have a concealed gun on them,” Trump said at an event at the White House where students and victims’ family members from Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Fla., were allowed to voice their opinions about gun safety, Politico reports. “They’d go for special training. And they would be there, and you would no longer have a gun-free zone.”

Then, in a pair of posts on Twitter Thursday morning, the president wrote: “I never said ‘give teachers guns’ like was stated on Fake News @CNN & @nbc. What I said was to look at the possibility of giving concealed guns to gun adept teachers with military or special training experience - only the best. 20% of teachers, a lot, would now be able to immediately fire back if a savage sicko came to a school with bad intentions.”

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“Highly trained teachers would also serve as a deterrent to the cowards that do this. Far more assets at much less cost than guards. A ‘gun free’ school is a magnet for bad people. ATTACKS WOULD END!” he continued. “History shows that a school shooting lasts, on average, 3 minutes. It takes police & first responders approximately 5 to 8 minutes to get to site of crime. Highly trained, gun adept, teachers/coaches would solve the problem instantly, before police arrive. GREAT DETERRENT!”

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The president went on: “If a potential ‘sicko shooter’ knows that a school has a large number of very weapons talented teachers (and others) who will be instantly shooting, the sicko will NEVER attack that school. Cowards won’t go there...problem solved. Must be offensive, defense alone won’t work!”

Let’s look past the president’s use of random capitalization and focus solely on his clarification about arming teachers. Currently, teachers make less than dog walkers, and this idea that trained teachers would be armed and ready to take down a “savage sicko” is stupid as shit.

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I hate that this president believes that Bruce Willis is teaching in all U.S. schools, and therefore, with special training and a freshly shaved bald head, Mr. Willis the Teacher would be able to take down the savage sicko.

Also, let’s look at the said savage sicko in the Parkland case, who, surprising to no one, is a proud owner of a “Make America Great Again” cap. This savage sicko was allowed to purchase his gun legally because the fake president of the United States—and the real president of guns, the executive vice president of the National Rifle Association, Wayne LaPierre (which sounds a lot like a fake Match.com profile name)—don’t want tougher mental health or gun laws that would prevent savage sickos from purchasing guns, because then gun sales would go down. And the NRA isn’t spending all this money to ensure that a gun-leaning Congress stays that way, just so that it can watch gun sales go down.

Not to mention, isn’t it strange that the answer to mass shootings is always guns? The president’s responses to the recent shootings in Florida and Las Vegas are a virtual Oprah meme: “You get a gun! And you get a gun!”

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Because Trump and others in Congress are firmly in the pocket of the NRA and therefore will do whatever the NRA wants them to, he ended his Thursday tweet storm with a shoutout to the great people over at, you guessed it, the NRA.

“Chris and the folks who work so hard at the @NRA are Great People and Great American Patriots,” Trump tweeted. “They love our Country and will do the right thing. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!”

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If you ever want to know where Trump or the rest of the GOP Unsullied (minus the honor, black skin and fighting abilities) stand on issues relating to gun violence or gun safety, just check with the NRA first, because that’s what they do.