The 'Pick-He' (the Male Version of the 'Pick-Me'), Explained

One of what?

Yeah, I guess it’s been a while, huh?

This is perhaps why I haven’t done as many explainers. Some of this shit just can’t be explained. I’m as stumped as you are.

Yes, I am!

So, defining a pick-me is simple. It describes a woman, who, through her words and actions, is either implying or outright saying “Pick me, men, instead of these other women, because I am solid wife material. And solid relationship material. And solid situationship material. And solid fuckbuddy material. And solid Netflix and Chill material. Basically, men, I can be whatever material you want me to be. Shit, I can even be a liquid or an inert gas if you wish.”

Well, there’s also the fact that they tend to disparage other women while expressing their distinctions. Ayesha Curry, for instance, caught some flack for doing this.

Unfortunately, both Pick-Me Twitter and Ash-Retention Twitter used the light ribbing Curry received for this tweet as fuel for their war against feminism, feminists, facts, and exfoliation.

From a piece I wrote about this debacle a couple years ago:

Ayesha Curry became a perfect woman proxy; the best example of the type of (presumably) virtuous and (presumably) virginal woman that 1) every woman should aspire to be and 2) exists as a perfect counterpoint or contrast to any woman deemed unvirtuous and thotnificent.

Who?

I do not know who this Beyoncé person is. And since I do not know who she is, I will not answer whether I believe she’s a pick-me. Nope. Can’t do it. I don’t know that nigga.

Well, the general definition is the same. The pick-he is a man who declares himself a better relationship option than other men.

But while the pick-me sometimes makes her case by stating things she’ll do that go above and beyond what any normal human should ever do (“I’ll suck my man’s dick during colonoscopy prep while the rest of y’all bitches just lay there and leak”), the pick-he just ... exists. His entire sales pitch is “I have a consistent and legal means of income and two functional nostrils. Therefore, you hoes need to be on my dick.”

Basically, he’s a variant of the nice guy™ pissed that women have the audacity to choose to sleep with and date the men they’re actually attracted to. So, instead of just, you know, being less wack, he attempts to shame women for their choices when they don’t choose him.

Example:

A pick-he, talking to a woman at a bar: Hey, so can I get your number?

Woman: I’m sorry, but I’m not interested.

Pick-he: All you women say you want a good dude, but you just want niggas with gold chains.

Woman: Um ... but you’re wearing a gold chain.

Pick-he: Well ... a bigger gold chain then.

I can’t really think of any off the top of my head. And by “I can’t really think of any off the top of my head,” I mean “Drake albums are basically pick-he mission statements, so start there.”

No problem. Any time. Glad I could help!