In what can only be described as the most fuckity fuckshit coming out of September (I would love to say this year, but we all know that 2020 has been nothing but flaming hot fuckshit), the Department of Justice (run by the president’s fuckboy, Bill Barr) is moving to replace Trump’s personal legal team with DOJ lawyers to defend his defamation lawsuit by author E. Jean Carroll, who accused the president of sexual assault.
Let me spin that back in case some of y’all can’t believe what you’ve just read. The Department of Justice, which is NOT the president’s private law firm, is moving to take over a defamation case brought against the president. Oh, and who brought that case against the president? Well, that would be former Elle magazine columnist E. Jean Carroll, who accused the president of raping her in a New York department store in the 1990s.
Wait, my stomach is bubbling. I need to vomit.
Bill Barr is trash.
Bill Barr is trash.
Trash is Bill Barr.
A trashcan is now a Bill Barr can.
“Just set it outside as the Bill Barr gets picked up today.”
If you are wondering like I am WTF the Department of Justice has to do with a defamation case, it goes like this: “Lawyers for the Justice Department said in court papers that Mr. Trump was acting in his official capacity as president when he denied ever knowing Ms. Carroll and thus could be defended by government lawyers—in effect underwritten by taxpayer money,” the New York Times reports.
The move could effectively end the case as federal government employees are immune from defamation lawsuits, but legal experts told the Times that it has rarely, if ever, been used to protect a president for shit that happened before he was even in office.
Hold on, something is in my throat:
*cough* Bill Barr is dog shit *cough*
“The question is, is it really within the scope of the law for government lawyers to defend someone accused of lying about a rape when he wasn’t even president yet?” Steve Vladeck, a University of Texas law professor, asked the Times.
The move will keep Trump from having to deal with the case during his campaign for re-election. Had the DOJ and the Bill Barr not put their fat-ass thumb on the scale, Trump probably could’ve been deposed in the case before the November election. Remember, he’s already said that he wouldn’t have assaulted her because she’s “not his type” (which sounds like something a predator would say.)
And, “Ms. Carroll’s lawyers have also requested that he provide a DNA sample to determine whether his genetic material is on a dress that Ms. Carroll said she was wearing at the time of the encounter,” the Times reports.
Carroll’s lawyer told the Times in a statement that this was that bullshit.
“Trump’s effort to wield the power of the U.S. government to evade responsibility for his private misconduct is without precedent,” lawyer, Roberta A. Kaplan, said, “and shows even more starkly how far he is willing to go to prevent the truth from coming out.”
Carroll even took to Twitter to note that Trump was clearly siccing Attorney General William P. Barr against her. “TRUMP HURLS BILL BARR AT ME,” she wrote.
“Trump’s strategy in this case from Day 1 has been delay, delay, and more delay,” Ms. Kaplan said, adding, “Our job is to make sure that doesn’t happen.”
From the Times:
Ms. Carroll sued Mr. Trump last November, claiming that he lied by publicly denying he had ever met her. A longtime columnist for Elle magazine, she wrote in a book excerpt published in New York magazine in June 2019 that Mr. Trump had thrown her up against the wall of a dressing room at Bergdorf Goodman, an upscale department store in Manhattan, in late 1995 or early 1996. Then, she claimed, Mr. Trump pulled down her tights, opened his pants and forced himself on her. She also insisted that security cameras captured both of them moving together before the alleged assault inside the store.
In her suit, Ms. Carroll accused Mr. Trump of defaming her by publicly stating in an interview with The Hill newspaper in June 2019 in the Oval Office that the assault never happened and that he could not have raped her because she was “not my type.” Mr. Trump, according to Ms. Carroll’s suit, also issued an official statement that same month saying she was lying about the alleged assault.
Mr. Trump said he had never met Ms. Carroll, but the two were photographed together at a party in 1987 with her former husband. The president has called the image misleading.
Carroll and her lawyer aren’t scared, in fact, she tweeted directly to the president (although she didn’t @ him) to bring it!