The Houston Texans Deserve to Be Burned at the Stake for What They Did to David Culley

On January 29, 2021, the Houston Texans were a hot-ass mess.

Their superstar quarterback, Deshaun Watson, had become disillusioned with the front office and coaching staff and demanded a trade—only for his career to completely unravel months later after being accused of sexual assault and sexually inappropriate behavior by over 20 women—and what was left of the roster looked like something out of a low-budget after school special because some idiot named Bill O’Brien was handed the keys to the franchise in a past life.

Despite all of this, David Culley fell on the sword and volunteered to become the team’s fourth head coach in franchise history—even though the team offered him a five-year deal with only two of those guaranteed. You’d be hard-pressed to find another coach who’d be willing to take such a crappy deal with an even crappier team, but when you’re a Black man trying to coach in the NFL, clearly you take what you can get.

The resulting season went exactly how we all expected it to: With the Texans trotting out a steaming pile of dog shit every week, which was somehow made even worse by COVID-19 outbreaks and a rash of injuries, the team still overperformed and finished with a putrid 4-13 record. And instead of thanking Culley for braving the storm and helping to steer the course during an obvious rebuilding phase, these punk motherfuckers inexplicably fired this man on Thursday—after exactly one year on the job.

As a result, Steelers general Mike Tomlin now stands alone as the only Black head coach in the entire league.

“I loved every minute of being the head coach of the Houston Texans,” Culley said in a statement. “I appreciate the players and coaches for staying the course with me through the ups and downs of our season. I’m disappointed we didn’t win more games and I won’t have a chance to improve on the lessons I’ve learned, but I fully understand this is a bottom-line business and I didn’t do enough.”

This is absolute bullshit.

This man was handed the worst roster in the entire league—never forget that the Texans spent almost the entire season with a third-string rookie quarterback behind center—and still somehow finished with a better record than the dumpster fire in Jacksonville and the Detroit Lions. So it’s not that he “didn’t do enough,” it’s that he was a lame-duck hire who the front office and ownership made exactly zero effort to put in a position to succeed—which, ironically enough, millions of Black folks in the workplace experience on a daily basis.

And to add insult to injury, after a year full of nothing but stress and strife, Culley is still leaving the Texans with a parting gift—the No. 3 pick in the 2022 NFL Draft. And considering the caliber of players that will be available that early in the draft, Houston will finally acquire the type of tantalizing talent that Culley never had access to during his brief stint in the Lone Star State.

Does that sound even remotely fair to you?

Now would be the opportune time to re-read the headline of this article because I said what I said. And until Black head coaches are not only given more opportunities, but are extended the same grace as their Caucasian counterparts, I’ll continue to perform my civil duty and call out this incessant bullshit until my dying breath.

And while the Houston Texans are a disgrace, they’re merely a symptom of a much larger issue that the NFL refuses to diagnose.