A worker paints a woman’s nails at a nail salon amid the coronavirus pandemic in Austin, Texas on May 8, 2020 following a slow reopening of the Texas economy.
A worker paints a woman’s nails at a nail salon amid the coronavirus pandemic in Austin, Texas on May 8, 2020 following a slow reopening of the Texas economy.
Photo: SERGIO FLORES (Getty Images)

Raise your hand if you thought that opening up states while the pitbull of viruses was still off its leash was a good idea. Great, I now know which one of y’all is Republican because only a Trump voter who believes in the Space Force would agree with such stupidity.

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Or a Texas government official, because they were all “yeehaw” to get the economy upright by reopening the state and now they’ve reportedly had 1,801 new coronavirus cases, “marking the state’s largest single-day jump since the start of the coronavirus crisis,” the Hill reports.

Also, most Texans are assholes, I mean contrarians, which is basically just an asshole. Scientists, whose jobs are to study shit the rest of us don’t know shit about, have told us that this shit doesn’t make any sense, but Trump, aka Chevy Jesus, has said differently and, in turn, mad people are getting the C-19.

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According to the Hill, “The Texas Department of State Health Services said 734 of the new cases are from Potter and Randall counties.”

“These counties’ new cases are largely from targeted testing of employees at meat plants in the area. More test results from plants are expected,” it tweeted.

Texas has reported 46,999 confirmed COVID-19 cases in total and has confirmed 28 million assholes who dress like cowboys whether they actually are or not.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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