trump
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Former Republican Justin Amash Is Considering Whether He Wants to Ruin Everything
There were three ways to a Trump victory in November: A global pandemic that forces everyone in the house; a refusal to fund the Postal Service, which will surely affect mail-in voting; and a third-party candidate who surely has no chance at winning but will fuck up the election. The first one is life. The…
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Vice President Mike Pence Is a Crash Test Dummy for Trump
Remember way back to 2017 when Vice President Mike Pence attended a football game between the Indianapolis Colts and the San Francisco 49ers just so he could walk out when players kneeled for the National Anthem? Pence would later tweet: “I left today’s Colts game because @POTUS and I will not dignify any event that…
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When the Music Stops: Famed Tap Dancers Diamond and Silk Cut From Fox News
Diamond and Silk learned the harsh lesson of steppinfetchery: No matter how hard you dance, at some point, they will tire of your act and you will find that there is no one left to dance for. On Monday, Fox News, the Alex Jones of network news, severed ties with the blackface duo, whose schtick…
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Trump Suggested Mainlining Disinfectants, So Some People Did. Now He’s Not Taking Any Responsibility for It
On Monday, after being a total diva with a coronavirus press conference—first, it was on, then it was off, then it was on again—the president was asked whether he took any responsibility for people using disinfectants improperly after he suggested that it could aid in treating the coronavirus, and you can already guess his answer.…
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Looks Like Hope Hicks Has Replaced Ivanka as the Trump Whisperer
A 31-year-old white woman with no credentials other than being a 31-year-old white woman—which is the equivalent of being a 24-year-old black woman with a Ph.D. who discovered real-life vibranium—is now the person who Trump’s turning to during the coronavirus to help with his rebrand because nothing says “I’m fucking this up” like a rebrand…
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Narcissist-In-Chief Canceled the Coronavirus Press Briefing. Then Remembered There Were Cameras, So It’s Back On
Trump hates the media, unless they love him, and then he loves them back. So on Monday, with disinfectant-gate still a thing and the collective mouth full of four usable teeth that is Trump voters realizing that even they can’t get behind his idiotic suggestion that shooting up Lysol would help kill the coronavirus, Trump…
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Trump Spent Sunday Raging on Twitter Because America's Starting to Realize He’s a Clown
President Trump fucked up. During a press conference last week, the president of people who are now considering adding a little bleach to their smoothies was freestyling and going off-script, as he’s been known to do. Trump was standing at the lectern when he began wondering aloud about the potential of moving both light and…
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Trump Supporter Wants You to Know He Isn't Just Worth a Measly $1.3 Billion, but $3.3 Billion
Spoiler Alert: La La La Laaaa, you don’t have to wait until Kanye West gets his money right anymore. Oh, and you definitely can’t tell him nothin’. According to Forbes, Kanye’s official net worth is $1.3 billion. Forbes calculated that his stake is worth $1.4 billion, but since it is “private [and] highly illiquid]” their…
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Calls to Poison Centers Across the Country Have Gone Up Since Trump Talked About Injecting Disinfectant
Correlation doesn’t necessarily equal causation, but it’s hard to say we didn’t see this coming after the president ruminated out loud a few days ago on the usefulness of injecting disinfectant into the body as a kind of “cleaning” to get rid of the coronavirus. Poison Centers across the country are now reporting that emergency…
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Trump Suggested Swallowing Light Bulbs and Shooting Up Disinfectant to Kill the Coronavirus. We Finna Die
I don’t know what former President Barack Obama did to y’all—and by y’all, I’m referring specifically to the 53 percent of white women who voted against their own self-interest to elect a shit heel for president—but we now have a man in office who suggested swallowing light bulbs and shooting up disinfectant. On Thursday, during…