trump
-
Welcome to the Jungle, Steve Mnuchin: Axl Rose Brings the Treasury Secretary to His Knees, Knees
Axl Rose, lead singer for Guns N’ Roses is tired of Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin’s bullshit. On Wednesday, the frontman with tonsils made from barbed wire noted that some 70,000 Americans have died from the coronavirus and in case anyone was trying to figure out whether or not Steven Mnuchin on Trump’s taint was an…
-
One of Trump’s Personal Valets Tests Positive for Coronavirus
Either President Trump and Vice President Mike Pence are the outbreak monkeys destined to infect the entire White House with the coronavirus since they insist on not following any of the orders that the rest of the country must follow, or they’ve moved one step closer to contracting the virus, as one of the president’s…
-
Trump Hires Donor With No Experience to Run the U.S. Postal Service. What Could Go Wrong?
Since taking office, Trump has declared war on two enemies: Obama and America. For years, the president has waged an all-out offensive attack on the former president, who doesn’t give a fuck about him. Obama is living proof that ignoring haters burns them way worse than engaging them. Obama has literally been living his best…
-
Trump Walks Out to ‘Live and Let Die,’ Says He’s Willing to Lose Some Lives to Save the Economy
Because the president couldn’t stay his orange ass in the White House any longer, he left Tuesday to visit a factory in Phoenix, Ariz., that makes N95 masks, and for some reason—maybe foreshadowing; definitely foreshadowing—Guns ‘N Roses’ “Live and Let Die” blared through the speakers. When I say it was bizarre, that’s an understatement. It…
-
Ousted Vaccine Scientist Files Whistleblower Complaint, Claims Trump Administration Ignored Coronavirus Warnings
Rick Bright, the ousted director of the Biomedical Advanced Research and Development Authority (BARDA), has filed a whistleblower complaint with the U.S. Office of Special Counsel, noting that he was demoted after refusing to promote the use of hydroxychloroquine to treat COVID-19 patients. According to NPR, Bright, a “high-ranking federal scientist focused on vaccine development…
-
Trump Is a Fuckboi and Fauci Is the Homie Who’s About to Expose His Lying Ass
Back in my fuckboi days, when I had like four girlfriends, I used to do a move I called, “divide and keep dividing.” It looked like this: I would tell one girlfriend a lie and then I had to keep her away from anyone else who could tell her the truth because that would fuck…
-
Trump Claims He’s Been Treated Worse Than President Who Was Assassinated
Trump brings out the “ass” in “assassinated.” Sitting outside the Lincoln Memorial—which, for those who’ve never seen it, is a big-ass statue of Lincoln sitting in a chair looking out with a facial expression that says, “You better not lie on my good name”—Trump claimed that he’s been treated worse than the president who was…