trump
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Trump Is Really Going to Shut Down the Government If He Doesn’t Get His Lego Wall for Christmas
President Toddler Von BabyVomit is really sticking to his guns about this dumb ass-wall, threatening to shut down the government until he gets a Lego Mexican Border Wall playset that is going to kill all kinds of butterflies or some shit. According to the Hill, House Democrats are planning for the long shutdown that will…
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Post-Trump, Miss Universe Welcomed Its 1st Openly Transgender Contestant in 2018
She didn’t take home the crown, but Spain’s Angela Ponce made history this year as the first openly transgender woman to compete in the Miss Universe pageant on Dec. 16 in Bangkok, Thailand. It was a relatively quiet, but strikingly progressive inclusion in an industry long lambasted for its regressive politics and representations—and even more…
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Michael Cohen Might Spend His Time Behind Bars in One of America’s Cushiest Prisons Unless …
If you are white person sentenced for a white collar crime, then you want to do prison time at the cushy FCI Otisville. It’s all the rage. Located about 70 miles northwest of New York City, guests (prisoners) are treated to an array of physical activities including weights, cardio equipment, bocce ball and horseshoes. The…
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Trump Accomplice Michael Cohen Sentenced to 3 Years in Prison
Despite singing like he’s the real king of R&B, President Trump’s personal fixer and former lawyer, also known as the human flea, Michael Cohen, has been sentenced to three years in prison for crimes committed during his tenure with dirty dog President Trump. During an emotional and teary-eyed plea to U.S. District Judge William H.…
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The Trump Administration Paid a Company $13.6 Million to Find Agents to Round Up Immigrants. They Hired 2 People
First, Trump created a war with Mexican migrants that could only be solved by building this dumb-ass border wall. Then Trump moonwalked back on campaign promises that Mexico would pay for this dumb-ass wall. Now Trump is threatening to shut down the government if he’s not given money for this dumb-ass wall, and while everyone…
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Nancy Pelosi Questions Trump’s Manhood. Presidential Rage-Tweeting to Begin in 3… 2… 1…
House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) and Senate Minority Leader Charles E. Schumer (D-N.Y.) are done attempting to play nice with the president. Come January, the Democrats will run the House and much like Kid and Play in the seminal classics House Party 1, 2, and yes, 3, they are about to dance battle all…
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Mitch 'Turtle Face' McConnell Changes Tune, Pushes For Criminal Justice Reform Bill Vote
Maybe the Conservative right is trying to play nice with the incoming Democrats taking over the house, or maybe because of Kim Kardashian (you know, the uber-famous basic white woman with the black add-on’s humanitarian efforts that freed unjustly incarcerated Alice Johnson), or maybe because it’s close to Christmas, but it looks like the criminal…
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No One Wants to be Trump's Chief of Staff Because the Job Sucks
As it turns out, the emperor has no clothes and no chief of staff because no one wants that miserable-ass job of being the Spliff Starr to the president’s Busta Rhymes. John F. Kelly bounced on the president’s ass mostly because he didn’t know that the chief of staff job meant changing the executive television…
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Trump Invited Democratic Leaders to the White House and It Was an Absolute Shit Show
For some reason unbeknownst to God and errrbody, President Donald Trump thought it was a good idea to host top House and Senate Democrats at the Oval Office. He invited the same Dems he openly mocks on his Twitter and made the meeting open to the press. Needless to say, it went south fast. Sitting…
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The President Lies So Much The Washington Post Invented a New Rating for His Mistruths
The president of people who enjoyed LL Cool J’s verse on Accidental Racist lies so much that Washington Post fact-checker Glenn Kessler has had to introduce a new rating called the “the Bottomless Pinocchio” for politicians like Trump “who repeat a false claim so many times that they are, in effect, engaging in campaigns of disinformation.”…