trump tweets
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This Might Be Trump’s Best Tweet Yet
President Donald Trump and I rarely agree. In fact, we are so far apart that if he said the sky was blue, I would say, “Shut up, you orange-faced afterbirth, lying sack of Russian urine!” But I must admit that Trump’s latest tweet is a good one. On Friday he confirmed that he was under…
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The COVFEFE Act: Lawmaker Introduces Bill to Record Trump Tweets
An Illinois congressman wants to make the president’s tweets part of the presidential record and prevent Twitter Fingas from deleting tweets. The Communications Over Various Feeds Electronically for Engagement (COVFEFE) Act (I see what he did there) was introduced Monday by Rep. Mike Quigley (D-Ill.) to amend the Presidential Records Act to “include social media,…
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Trump Tweets Are Now ‘Official Statements’ From President; He May Live-Tweet During James Comey’s Hearing
White House press secretary Sean “Spicy Facts” Spicer is up to his old tricks again. After several months of claiming that the press spends too much time paying attention to President Twitter Fingas’ timeline, Spicy now claims that the president’s tweets are official statements from the president and should be treated as such. This about-face…
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Y’all’s Drunk Uncle President Is Tweeting Again
I’ve figured it out. Aside from scarfing down family-size buckets of KFC, pathological lying and a predilection for pussy grabbing, we all know that Donald Trump’s vices do not include drinking alcohol or imbibing in recreational drugs. Yet our nation’s leader repeatedly leaves us perplexed with late-night tweets that sound as if he just got…
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Trump Drunk-Tweets ‘Covfefe,’ and We Have a Lot to Discuss
The problem isn’t that the old man in the White House can’t spell—hell, he’s been unable to spell since he took office, as he demonstrates by consistently tweeting misspelled words. It’s that the president of the United States is late-night drunk-tweeting incomplete sentences with made-up words. President Donald Trump tweeted, “Despite the constant negative press…
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Everything to Know About Trump Scandals This Week
President Donald Trump’s son-in-law, Jared “Got Dem Visas” Kushner, wanted to have a burner phone in the White House that was directly connected to Russia; the White House communications director has resigned; and someone tweeted some fake-ass message from Trump’s presidential Twitter account—you know, the one he doesn’t use—to condemn the terrorist attacks in Portland,…
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Wait, Did President Trump Just Threaten Sally Yates?
President Twitter Fingas is at it again. On Monday, hours before former U.S. Attorney General Sally Yates is set to testify in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee about Russia, the president is out here tweeting like he’s a member of Real Housewives. Donald Trump tweeted (and apparently subsequently deleted): “Ask Sally Yates, under oath,…
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Trump Claims His 1st 100 Days in Office Don’t Mean Anything, Since He’s Done Nothing in His 1st 100 Days
As we have all come to learn with this Milli Vanilli-ass administration, nothing they say means anything. Nothing. While campaigning for president, Twitter Fingers loved to talk about what he’d accomplish in the first 100 days if elected president. Now that he is president and has done nothing of note, except moonwalk back on all…
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President Twitter Fingers Is Taunting North Korea on Social Media
I’m starting to get really sick of President Twitter Fingers and his Meek Mill-esque threatening tweets. Seems as if everyone besides the president of the United States knows that North Korean leader Kim Jong Un is a few Crayolas short of a 64-set, and yet he just keeps messing with him. Not only did the…
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Why Can’t We Cover Trump’s Twitter Fingers and His Presidency?
President Vladimir TrumPutin has been a busy man since taking office. Mostly he’s been busy hiding his taxes from the American public, and hiding his relationship with Russian operatives. He’s surely spent time keeping the video of paid Russian thots R. Kelly-ing all over a hotel room out of the hands of the public, and…