theory & essay
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On The Helplessness of Watching Your Parents Get Old
Gospel artist Damon Little has a song out right now called, “I Won’t Be Defeated.” It’s a great song. Do you know who heard that song and was like, “n-word, please?” Time. Time is undefeated. Time ain’t lost a ‘bout yet. In the never-before-mentioned last level of Mike Tyson’s Punch Out, after Tyson whips your…
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Donald Trump Does The Hood: A Halloween Horror Story
He had been warned about this. His adult children, Ivanka, Eric, Donald Jr, and even the one no one gives a shit about, tried to reason with him, sharing horror stories about what they’ve heard about the hood, complete with anecdotes about deadly and sarcastic bodega cats and Ivanka’s own first-hand experience with mysterious and…
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Prenups Are For Poor People
And by “poor people,” I mean me and you, of course: basically, regular people. I’m 100 percent sure that the likes of Kanye and Kim Kardashian aren’t reading my writings, but if they are, I need the Pirate Black Yeezy Boost 350s in a size 10. Thanks. By definition, a prenuptial agreement is a contract…
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The Beautiful Struggle Against Racism
My uncle blamed everything on the white man. Global warming? It was the white man. Drugs destroying the community? Blame the white man. Football team lost? The white man was at fault. Uncle John was the kind of ghetto philosopher you’d find dropping knowledge in the barbershop. He’d walk in without an appointment and spit knowledge…
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A Prayer For Parents Who Let Their Kids Wear Shorts To School When It’s Cold Outside
Congregation of St. Panama Jackson the United Methodist Baptist Pentecostal AME Church of God in Christ Episcopal Primitive Missionary Baptist Down By The Riverside Holiness Church, please bow your heads: Dear 8 pound, 6 ounce newborn infant Jesus, don’t even know a word yet, just a little infant and so cuddly, but still omnipotent, I…
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I Miss Not Being Able To Witness My Mom Witnessing The Things I've Experienced Since Her Death
I began writing this at 10:30am. Three years ago at this time, I was home, going through my morning ritual — which consists of some combination of working, showering, getting dressed, eating, and walking the dog — a bit slower than usual. A deliberate and intentional slowness because I knew that when my routine was…
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If Mos Def’s Black On Both Sides Came Out Today, It Might Be Considered The Blackest Album of All Time
On September 30, Solange released her third album, A Seat At The Table, to remarkably favorable reviews. Social media lit up like the Empire State Building at Christmas with folks proclaiming how woke and Black the album is. Interspersed with interludes speaking to the Black experience from her mother, father, and Master P, the album…