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Ray Rice Isn’t Being Blackballed by the NFL for Domestic Violence. He’s Just Not Good Anymore
Ray Rice, barring a dramatic set of miraculous circumstances, will never play for the NFL again. I know it. He knows it. Me, you, your mama and your cousin, too, know it. The homegirl from around the way knows it. Bonita Applebum may not know it yet, but she’s about to know it once I…
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In France, Black Lives Struggle to Matter, Too
I have an older cousin named Halima. She lives in Nimes, France, with her husband and 5-year-old daughter, named Hikma, who is an avid Frozen enthusiast (called La Reines des Neiges in French) and Beyoncé-in-training. For the most part, they live relatively peaceful middle-class lives. But every morning, Halima makes the trek from Nimes to…
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An Unofficial Guide to Ramadan for Trump Voters or the Uninitiated Negro
As of June 6, the holy month of Ramadan has started for much of the Muslim population—which, despite all statements by Donald Trump and his ilk, is not exclusively made up of bomb-toting Arabs in menacing turbans. This demographic includes Asians (fun fact—Indonesia contains the largest Muslim population in the world), Caucasians, the man who…
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The 3 Types of Black Men You Can Date, as Defined by Captain America: Civil War
This past weekend, I dusted off my sweatpants and trekked to the movies to see the latest Marvel cinematic adventure, Captain America: Civil War. It was a good comic book movie—great, even. I normally have a hard time sitting in a dark room for over two hours without taking at least one solid nap, but…
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The List of Demands Ludacris Made for His 15-Minute Performance at the University of Ga. Is Pretty Ridiculous
There are very few things in 2016 that take me by surprise—after all, we live in a world where our federal government can look at my paltry checking account and insist that I owe them more money than they already take out of my pay stub. At this point, someone could tell me, “Hey, that…
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Group Dinners Are Awful. Stop Having Them
Getting older seems to come with a fair amount of side effects—increased joint pain, indigestion, tooth sensitivity, general peevishness about being awake after 11 on a weeknight. Some of these are just general consequences of your body letting you know that you, too, are slowly decaying from years of treating your body like Play-Doh with…
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Watching Lupita Braid Her Homegirls’ Hair Is Peak Black Woman Excellence
I am a woman whose spirit is less secure than Humpty Dumpty, and consequently, I’ve taken great pains to avoid spending extensive amounts of time on Facebook. There are not enough crispy-chicken wraps in the world to help me bounce back from the deluge of unintentionally inaccurate black history facts, passively racist status updates from…
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The Mint App Is Like That Penny-Pinching Aunt Who Doesn’t Let You Have Any Fun
New Year’s Day 2016 came around just a little under three months ago, and with it, yours truly had, yet again, created a set of seemingly attainable goals for the subsequent 365 days in a feeble attempt to become a fully actualized adult. Some of the list has been fairly simple to execute—for example, I’ve…
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Cardi B’s Mixtape Is … Kinda Not That Bad
I think it’s fair to say that my appreciation for consumption of entertainment of the avian element is quite well documented. My favorite celebrity couple is Cam’ron and Juju. Close second? Remy and Papoose. I have been known to hit the chicken head and the toe wop in the club in this year of our…
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4 Things I Refuse to Do While Going on Vacation
Daylight saving has run up and kicked all of our collective asses, which means spring is finally coming around the corner and it’s time to rub what little coins I have together and start planning out my excursions for the rest of the year. Not only do I need the occasional respite from New York…
