theory & essay
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Fuck Your Confederate Flag, Cuh!
I hate that gotdamn flag. I always have. I’m a Southerner, which means that I’m super familiar with it. Not only that, I did my high schoolin’ in the great state of Alabama in the mid-90s. This means that there were high school year book quotes from Confederate generals and shouts of “The South Shall…
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On The Dominican Republic And "Convenient Blackness"
Convenient Blackness is en vogue in America and the rest of the “Americas” as well. While we were caught up in the ridiculousness of “She who shall not be named” and the tragedy in Charleston, the Dominican Republic is deporting tens of thousands of Haitian-Dominicans to a country many of them have never lived in.…
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After Charleston, Questioning The Power of Prayer
Lookin’ down on my soul now Tell me I’m in control now Tell me I can live long and I can live wrong and I can live right And I can sing songs and I can unite with you that I love, you that I like Look at my life and tell me I fight.”…
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Dear Respectability Politics Brigade: This Is Time For You To Shut The Fuck Up
In the wake of the Emanuel AME church in Charleston, South Carolina, this letter is equally outdated and timely. In what seems like the unsavory mixture of an eternity and “just yesterday,” Black people have been murdered (again) by a White person (again) for the crime of “existing while Black” (again). As I struggle to…
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Killed At A Church? A Church! A Church.
By now, almost everybody has heard what happened in Charleston, SC. It’s all over local and national news and when you walk into work (if you haven’t already) there’s a good chance somebody will bring it up. For those not in the know, a white gunman walked into Emanuel AME Church in Charleston, SC, sat…
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There Is Nothing Wrong With Making And Laughing At Jokes About Ridiculous Ass Rachel Dolezal
Rachel Dolezal’s appearance on The Today Show this morning — and her admission that she identifies as Black — confirms it: She is a turducken of bullshit. A turducken inside of a giraffe inside of a whale that was eaten by a fucking Indominus Rex. Not only is her actual aesthetic an intentional optical illusion, following…
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In Too Deep (No, Seriously. In Waaaaaaay Too Gotdamn Deep): The Rachel Dolezal Story
Thoughts about the post-racial Imitation of Life. 1. You know those news stories and segments that’ll pop up every couple months or so about a White mom who has no damn clue what to do with her biracial daughter’s hair? And the piece will always be accompanied by a pic of the clueless mom and…
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Iggy Azalea, And Why We Need To Stop "Stupid-Shaming" Dumb People
A wise man once told me “You can teach stupid. But dumb is a talent.” Ok, I lied. It wasn’t actually a wise man. It was a guy selling DJ Clue mixtapes and lighter fluid outside of my old barbershop in 2002. And he didn’t actually say that. At least not to me. It was just…
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Tinder: Where The Dreams Of Meeting My Bougie Black Prince Go To Die
Within the past 48 hours, I’ve decided I’m going to be chaste and devote my life to God, because this dating thing is entirely too much. It should be noted that for the most part, I hate dating. I hate the horse-and-pony show aspect of the early stages, the faux nonchalance, the job interview feel…