theory & essay
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On Wondering If I Should Teach My Pre-Teen Nephew To Be Wary Of White Girls
I have two new nephews. Not “new” in that they’re newborns, but new to me because they’re my nephews through marriage. One is introverted, observant, snarky, cynical, and obsessed with basketball. Basically, he’s a 14-year-old me. Naturally, upon first meeting him three years ago, we immediately clicked. The other nephew is a couple years younger,…
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I Am, Officially, The Oldhead At The Hoop Court. Please Hold Me.
The realization should have come in 2013. I was a regular on the court at LA Fitness in Bakery Square; showing up three times a week to play (and, usually, beat) guys who were half my age. And half my age plus 10 years. I was the shit. They’d call me Joe Johnson. Or Paul Pierce. Or…
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I've Got a Dumbass Medical Condition
Let’s just start with the punchline: the glands on my eyelids are being bitches. Actually, its just one of my eyelids. So the glands on my right eyelids? Straight bitches. I’ve got blepharitis. Blepharitis (blef-uh-RYE-tis) is inflammation of the eyelids. Blepharitis usually involves the part of the eyelid where the eyelashes grow and affects both…
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A Question About Chivalry: Who's "Supposed" To Be The Lead Walker? (…And Does It Matter?)
Despite much consternation (and some cheer) about its demise, I’d argue that most adults, and even most teens, are at least somewhat aware of chivalry. Specifically, the parts that concern how a male and a female human in a romantic relationship should treat each other. The people who don’t follow these rules of decorum either don’t out of…
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On Why You Should Like Big Sean More Than You Do (Or Claim To)
Big Sean has just blessed us with the hottest music video of the year with his ode to, our friend, Martin and you are still hatin’. I like Big Sean, but, for some reason misguided reason, you still don’t like him. Your girl doesn’t like him, our fearless leader here at VSB doesn’t like him.…
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On Being Black And Southern (And From South Carolina) At Times Like This
I’ve been a proud Black man from South Carolina for a few weeks north of 36 years. And, in all honesty, my state has always confused me. If I were ever asked to play word association with it, I would begin by telling the poor fool who asked the question to “grab a chair” because this…
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The Perils of Chasin’ That Old Thang: Why Exes Need To Stay Exes
We all maintain at least one “friend” who’s less a “friend” and more someone you used to fuck and still contact in hopes that one day you’ll be able to smash again. Since hey, that was all that really worked between you two. You have a mutual understanding better known as “wantin’ that old thang…
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Yup, Women Can Be Just As Evil As Men (…And This Is A Good Thing!)
While channel-surfing the other day, I came across Gone Girl on HBO. It had been on for maybe an hour already, but I kept on watching. Mainly because I wanted to see if I would still be as disturbed by it as I was when I saw it in the theater. Verdict? Yes. It’s also…
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Hey You! You're Pretty Fucking Awesome!
I’m feeling inspired today. So let’s inspire. But first, question time: do you actually know how fucking awesome you are? Real question. Do you? If you don’t. I’m here to tell you. Before we get into how fucking awesome you are, allow me to tell you how awesome I am. Just consider this your complimentary…
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Don Lemon: The Troll Who Will Save America
It’s unfortunate that President Obama’s use of “nigger” became the biggest story from his recent interview with Marc Maron, because the reflexively (and grandstandingly) heated debate about that word has obscured a great point. “Societies don’t, overnight, completely erase everything that happened 200 to 300 years prior.” It feels counterintuitive, insulting even, to suggest that…