president
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Trump Sends Temper Tantrum Tweet Denying He Threw a Temper Tantrum
The president of people who ride recumbent bikes issued a series of whiny, fussy, I-didn’t-have-a good-nap-laced tweets aimed at his brief meeting with Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi at the White House Wednesday afternoon. You know, the meeting that Trump held and then stormed out of as soon as he…
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Trump Just Threw a Temper Tantrum and Walked Out of a Meeting Over a Wall That Only Racists Want
President Don Snow, the watcher of the wall who is valiantly protecting America from the White Brown Walkers, showed today that his negotiating tactics amounted to a huffy child folding his arms and storming out of the room after learning that he’s not getting a Nintendo Switch until he gets his grades up. On Wednesday…
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The 'Stable Genius' Just Rage-Tweeted a Misspelled Threat to Cut Funds for Fighting 'Forrest Fires'
On Wednesday, a little after 10 a.m. on the East Coast, which means that the president has already walked the halls of the White House wearing only an adult diaper and a robe made the innards of orphaned baby seals clubbed to death with oak legs from authentic Victorian-era dining tables. He’s already drank a…
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Elizabeth Warren Announces Presidential Bid and Chooses a Black Woman as Her Chief of Staff
Sen. Elizabeth Warren has moved closer to ending the months of courting and put a ring on it after she was spotted walking into Jared to make it official with America. Elizabeth Warren is running for president in 2020. Well, she announced that she’s forming an exploratory committee to run for the White House, which…
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Trump Rage Tweets That He’ll ‘Close The Southern Border Entirely’ If He Doesn’t Get Money For His Wall
The wifi signal in the presidential dungeon was at full strength Friday morning as the president woke from his slumber, slaughtered a baby goat, gulped down a warm cup of baby goat blood (it really gets the hate juices flowing) and still had time to rage tweet that he’s going to shut down the entire…
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The Shutdown Could End Tomorrow But Dealing With Trump Is Like Negotiating With a Criminal
Before taking office, President Donald Trump shouted from the rafters about his ability to get deals done. He truly sold white America on his business acumen and ability to seal the deal. Now we all realize that his business methods are equivalent to a goon holding a debtor’s kids in a seedy basement until he…
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Our President Just Tweeted a Photo of Himself Wearing a Hillbilly Onesie and We’re Probably All Going to Die
The Donald J. Trump parody Twitter account is hilarious. Today, out of nowhere, it posted this uproarious tweet before the actual president’s signing of a farm bill. The Root staff writer Michael Harriot: That isn’t a parody account, Stephen. Me: Wait, what are you saying? MH: I’m saying that the president tweeted that from his…
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Rudy Giuliani Claimed Trump Tower Moscow Wasn't a Thing. Then CNN Showed Up With Receipts
The president’s lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, is having a full-on showdown with the bizarro emperor of America to see who’s better at lying to the American public about everything. The funny thing is, both of them use the same deranged method of acting like everything is nothing. At this point, if both Trump and Giuliani were…